


lonely eyes and a save me smile

by softgrantaire



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, David POV, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Past Matteo/OC (male), idiots to lovers, mentions of past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-05-12 14:30:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softgrantaire/pseuds/softgrantaire
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend? Stupid.Pretending to date said best friend, something that will include kissing and cuddling and pet names?Like he said.David Schreibner, world’s biggest dumbass.Or they pretend to be boyfriends because Matteo's ex refuses to leave him alone, and it goes just as well as one may expect. Featuring coffee shops, oblivious pining, and the power that is a Matteo, David, Amira, and Jonas friendship.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Open Your Eyes by Strfkr.

“Why the hell is Justus here?” David whisper yells to Jonas. Jonas turns towards the door, and the group of people that had just arrived and swears lowly.

 

“I think Kiki brought him,” he responds, not taking his eyes off the door.

 

Matteo is oblivious; Hanna brought a friend who Matteo would ‘be totally cute with!’ and Matteo had immediately hid in the corner. David starts to grin over Matteo being disinterested, but sees Justus’ eyes scan the room.

 

“Fuck - no,” David whispers to himself as Justus starts towards Matteo, small smirk on his face.

 

Justus Aurelius von _fucking_ Ehren. His name screamed both old money and utter douchebag; both were correct. He’s handsome, there’s no way to deny that, and more than one person has their eye on him. But he only has eyes for one, and he’s almost reached him.

 

Matteo looks up, startled. David can’t hear what they’re saying, but the look on Matteo’s face says enough. He looks scared - Justus is almost pressed against him, just a few inches separating them. David clenches his fist around his bottle.

 

“Don’t judge me for this, Jonas.”

 

Jonas drags his eyes from Matteo and Justus, furrowing his brow.

 

“For what?”

 

David closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens them, he smirks.

 

“Oh, God,” Jonas groans. “I know that smirk, David. That’s a ‘I’m about to do something stupid but I have to look cool doing it’ smirk.”

 

He isn’t sure if he should be offended, but ignores Jonas and focuses on Matteo.

 

“Hope he doesn’t hate me.”

 

Jonas rolls his eyes. “Matteo could never hate you. But, go on, do whatever idiotic shit you were about to do."

 

David nods in his direction and begins to move towards Matteo’s corner with purpose. He can see Justus looming over him, and clenches his fists.

 

“ - just one dance, yeah? Like we used to. I know you remember.”

 

“Pardon,” David says, sliding up beside them. “But my boyfriend promised me a dance.”

 

Before Matteo can speak, David grabs his hand and drags him towards the makeshift dance floor.

 

“David, what the hell?”

 

“Just go along with it. Put your hands around my neck and dance with me.”

 

Matteo doesn’t question it, immediately complying. He leans in to whisper, breath hot against David’s skin.

 

“Are you going to tell me why you told Justus we were boyfriends?”

 

“He was trying to convince you to dance with him,” David whispers back. He feels himself swallow. “And the look on your face was - one I thought I’d never have to see again.”

 

“So you told him we’re dating.”

 

“Sorry.”

 

Matteo laughs slightly; it’s a breathy sound in David’s ear. “It’s okay. We’ll talk about it later. I have a boyfriend to dance with now, apparently.”

 

They didn’t need to speak about it anymore, Matteo knowing how to read David better than anyone. They’d speak later.

 

“How okay with touching are you feeling?” David leans in to whisper softly into Matteo’s ear.

 

He receives a confused look.

 

“Because at the moment we’re dancing like we’re twelve and being forced to dance at someone’s wedding. We touch more than this just chilling in your flat.”

 

Matteo laughs softly. “You’re right.”

 

“As usual.”

 

“Oh, fuck off.”

 

“So if I were to do -” He moves his arms until they’re locked around Matteo’s lower back and pulls them flush together. “- this. Is that okay?”

 

“That’s…” Matteo coughs. “Okay.”

 

“Okay, then.”

 

It’s right then that David knows he’s made a mistake. It’s hotter like this, more intimate. David’s moved his face to rest against Matteo’s neck, a thumb dipping underneath the hem of his shirt; Matteo’s hands have found their way to David’s hair.

 

He’s burning from the inside. He’s a live-wire, every inch of his body that’s touching Matteo’s on fire.

 

He shifts slightly and somehow they’re closer. The sound of Matteo’s breath catching is lost in the music, but David can feel it. He wonders for a moment if Matteo is as affected as he is, but quickly gets rid of any hope. Hope is a dangerous thing.

 

“May I cut in?”

 

“Bit busy, dude,” David responds, lifting his head to make eye contact with Justus. He sounds flustered even to his own ears, and hopes Matteo writes it off as acting.

 

Justus stares at them for a beat too long, ignoring the music and dancing. “How long have you been together?”

 

David opens his mouth, but Matteo interrupts before he can speak.

 

“It’s new.”

 

The grin David sends Justus is sharp, and he lets go of Matteo just to grab him by the hand. “We’re about to head off, actually. Always nice to see you.”

 

“Oh?” Justus asks. “Where are you heading?”

 

“It’s always convenient to have a party at Matteo’s flat, no?”

 

“And why is that?”

 

“He has his own bedroom, and his very own bed.” He can feel his smile sharpen even further. “And I’m very much ready to use it. _C_ _iao._ ”

 

He drags Matteo towards his bedroom, past their friends who are sat on the sofa; they all look confused.

 

_Fuck._

 

-

 

As soon as the door is closed and locked behind them, David turns and starts apologizing.

 

“I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, especially without telling you.” He wrings his hands together. “I just - I hate him so much, as a human in general but mostly because of how he treated you. I wanted to wipe the stupid smirk off his stupid face.”

 

“So you told him we’re dating.” Matteo crosses his arms and leans against the door with a small smirk

 

David stares at his feet. “Sorry.”

 

Matteo laughs slightly. “I’m not mad, I promise.”

 

“You aren’t?”

 

“Actually, I’m flattered you think I could pull someone as handsome as you.”

 

“You think I’m handsome, Florenzi?”

 

Matteo rolls his eyes. “Of course I do. It’s kind of an accepted fact, you know. You own a mirror.”

 

David smiles. “I think you’re handsome, too.”

 

“You better, I am no harlot, I wouldn’t leave a party to have sex with someone who didn’t find me handsome.”

 

“Of course,” David snorts fondly before he pauses. His eyes widen and he swears lowly. “Fuck. I forgot I insinuated we were leaving the party to have sex.”

 

Matteo rolls his eyes again. “God forbid, I leave the party to have sex with my boyfriend.”

 

“What ever will I do now that people don’t think I’m a virtuous man, and am now a heathen with no shame who has sex at a party?”

 

“It’s a bit different when it’s my room, though.”

 

David hums with a grin. “Is that the difference then?”

 

“Of course! It makes all the difference in the world!” Matteo pauses, looking as if he’s trying to find the breath to ask his next question. “Would you - do me a favour? It’s a big favour, and you don’t have to do it if you aren’t comfortable, because it’s a lot to ask and actually? You know what, don’t worry about it I’ll figure something -”

 

“Matteo,” David interrupts. “You have to know. I’d do anything for you.”

 

“Anything?” Matteo’s voice is as soft as the smile that spreads slowly across his face. It’s a beautiful thing, that smile. David can’t regret the words because of that smile - even as he berates himself for almost revealing exactly how Matteo makes him feel. It’s a smile that not many people see, and he’s honoured that he’s one of the chosen few. If only his pencil could do it justice.

 

“You’re my best friend.” As much as David wishes things were different, he’d never be disappointed to have Matteo as a friend. When Matteo shuffles his feet instead of responding, David sends him a suspicious look. “What are you thinking? You thinking is always dangerous.”

 

“So,” Matteo starts, dragging out the word. He scratches at his head and is obviously trying to find the words he needs. “You were the one who said it first. But would you - and you don’t have to - pretend to be my boyfriend?”

 

“Because of Justus?”

 

“Yeah, I guess,” Matteo shrugs. He looks as if there’s more he wants to say.

 

“You guess?” David prompts.

 

“It’s just - I didn’t think of doing this until you said it to Justus.” He scratches his head again. “But - our friends have been on my ass about finding a new boyfriend.”

 

“Ah,” David says. “I see. You want to pretend to be boyfriends, to get your dickhead ex and well meaning but annoying friends off your ass?”

 

Matteo’s always been good at puppy dog eyes.

 

“What would this entail?”

 

“Holding hands, cuddling, maybe a kiss.” He drags David into a hug, exhaling against his shoulder.

 

“What else is bothering you, Matteo?” David whispers.

 

“It’s stupid,” Matteo says, pulling away.

 

“If you feel it, it’s not stupid,” David reminds him.

 

Matteo groans and pulls back. “You sound like my therapist.”

 

“Smart woman.”

 

Matteo stares at the ground, before he seems to steel himself.  “Did I tell you he got a new job?”

 

“Justus?” David knows he has an incredulous look on his face. “A job?”

 

“Says he was recommended ‘work experience’,” Matteo sighs, raising his hand to make quotations. “So, he got a job.”

 

There’s a look on his face that - David closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Where does he work, Matteo?”

 

“Where do you think he works?”

 

David swears. “You should go to the police, he’s literally stalking you.”

 

“I wouldn’t go that far -”

 

“Matteo, he got a job at the same coffee place you work at.”

 

“Yeah, but -”

 

“Has he started yet?”

 

“Not yet. He starts next week.”

 

“A week. Good amount of time to get this down.”

 

“Get what down?”

 

David smirks - the same smirk Jonas called him out for earlier - and steps close again.

 

“Why, this of course,” he says as he wraps one arm around Matteo’s waist, the other gently holding his jaw. Slowly, slowly, he plants a soft kiss just to the left of Matteo’s mouth. As he pulls away, he rests their foreheads together for a moment, and just breathes.

 

Matteo freezes completely.

 

David snickers. “If I’m going to be your pretend boyfriend, we’ll need to work on you not completely freezing up when I kiss your cheek. I’ve kissed your cheek before, and I’ve seen Hans kissing you on the mouth multiple times.”

 

He’s expecting Matteo to make a joke, but he doesn’t. Instead he seems to force himself to relax. “It’s different with Hans.”

 

“How so?”

 

“He’s been doing that for years.”

 

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to practice.”

 

“Guess we will.” His sigh is put upon. “One condition.”

 

“Oh?” David grins.

 

“Only if you buy chapstick first. Your lips are super dry, man.”

 

David pretends to be offended. “My lips are dry? Have you seen yours?”

 

Matteo puckers his lips and goes cross-eyed, pretending to stare down at his mouth. As always, his idiotic actions make David laugh. “My lips are luscious.”

 

“Guess we’ll have to find out. Bet mine are more luscious.”

 

“Oh, will there be more kissing then?”

 

David shuffles his feet, suddenly nervous. “If that’s okay with you.”

 

Matteo nods slightly. “Sure.”

 

“If you stop freaking out, maybe.”

 

Matteo whines, turning to throw himself onto his bed. “I was surprised!”

 

David proceeds to throw himself on to Matteo’s back. He lets out a soft ‘oof’ but stops trying to suffocate himself in his pillow.

 

“Matteo,” David starts. “Like I said when we were dancing. We touch quite a lot. I mean, I’m literally laying on your back right now. So why were you surprised?”

 

Matteo shuffles them around until they're lying on their sides, facing each other.

 

David has seen him at his happiest, and held him at his lowest. It’d been months since he’d seen Matteo like this, though.

 

He takes a deep breath. He exhales. “It sounds stupid, I know it didn’t mean anything, but it was - soft. I’ve - I dunno. Tenderness - romantic tenderness - isn’t something I’m used to, not for a while.”

 

David feels his breath catch at the pain in his voice, at the pain in his own chest.

 

David was the only person that knew _everything_ about Matteo’s relationship with Justus. The harsh words, the cheating, the manipulation.

 

He remembers the shock and disbelief on Matteo’s face when David had sat him down and tried to explain that what Justus did was abusive.

 

“But he didn’t hit me,” Matteo had said, looking unconvinced by his own words.

 

“You’re studying psychology, Matteo,” David had whispered. “You know that not all abuse is physical.”

 

David can recall wiping the tears from his cheeks as he shuddered through a soft, “I know.”

 

Jonas knew what happened, but Matteo had never told him the extent of how it had affected him. How difficult he found it to trust new people, how difficult he found it to even think about future relationships. His communication abilities nearly nonexistent.

 

“You understand me,” he’d whispered one night. They were sat on Matteo’s bed, shoulders pressed together and legs entangled. They’d always been tactile, and that hasn’t changed. When David said they touch more than this just chilling in Matteo’s flat, he had meant it. He’s never been so comfortable around a friend.

 

“I’m not saying the others don’t understand,” Matteo had continued. “But I’ve never had to explain myself to you. I’m comfortable with you.”

 

David’s not sure he ever responded properly, but he felt the same. God, of course he did. This man he’d only known a year - well. Matteo is everything - _everything_ \- and Justus treated him like he was nothing.

 

David clears his throat and manages to find his breath.

 

“Oh, sweetheart.” Even to his own ears, his voice sounds achingly soft. It seems to just be hitting Matteo, the way Justus had put his hand possessively on his shoulder, the way he talked as if Matteo was his. David reaches to wipe a tear from his face, fingers lingering on his cheeks. “If I could, I’d make sure you’d only feel tenderness for the rest of your life.”

 

 _I’d risk everything to be the one to give you that tenderness,_ he wants to say.

 

 _I’m not worthy of your love, but I’m desperate to give you mine,_ he wants to say.

 

But he doesn’t say any of that. Instead he removes his hand from Matteo’s face with one final caress.

 

Matteo wipes at his eyes and tries to laugh it off. “Anyway.”

 

“Anyway,” David parrots back, letting him change the subject.

 

“We never really discussed what this would entail.” Matteo sits up. “I feel like we should at least have a few rules, or ideas, or whatever. Like, what we’re comfortable with.”

 

David mirrors him, but keeps their legs entangled. “How about we each name something and the other says if they’re okay with it?”

 

“Okay. Kissing?” David ignores the way his heart skips at the thought.

 

“Sure. Cuddling?” He ignores that they’re practically already cuddling.

 

“Alright. Hand holding?” He ignores the sudden need to know what Matteo’s fingers feel like curled around his and nods in response.

 

“Yeah, totally. Petnames?” David asks.

 

“You already call me petnames, Schreibner.” The way Matteo says his surname sounds like a term of endearment in itself, sometimes.

 

“I suppose I do,” David sighs. “Guess you’ll just have to return it, though.”

 

“Guess I will. Babe.” Matteo pauses. “There’s one rule.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“You can’t, under any circumstances, fall in love with me while we’re fake dating.”

 

“With that ugly mug? Why would I fall in love with you?” _There are countless reasons,_ David thinks. _You're_ _a very easy man to love._

 

“Hey,” Matteo whines. “You called me handsome earlier.”

 

“Lapse of judgement,” David scoffs playfully.

 

“Fuck off.”

 

David just smiles. He’ll never break that rule, anyway. He’s been in love with Matteo for almost a year, so it was hardly applicable.

 

“Who can know?” David asks, lying on his back.

 

“Jonas probably already knows,” Matteo sighs, joining him in staring at the ceiling. “Amira will probably figure it out, because she knows me and she’s too smart to fool. Those two for me. You?”

 

“Laura, definitely,” he says. He needs at least one person to tell him he’s an idiot, and his sister would gladly take that position. “But we have the same friends, so technically my answers would be the same as yours.”

 

“Jonas, Amira, and Laura?” Matteo rattles off, counting each on his finger.

 

“I know none of them would tell. Also all of them hate Justus with a burning passion.”

 

“Join the club,” Matteo scoffs.

 

“Don’t worry,” David smiles. “There are many, _many_ members.”

 

“Are you the president then?” They’re facing each other again now, both laying on their sides.

 

“Nah, Jonas and I are co presidents.”

 

“What about me?” Matteo pouts.

 

“I _guess_ you can share power.”

 

“Oh wow!” Matteo gasps, holding a hand over his heart. “You’re so kind!”

 

“I know. My boyfriend tells me that all the time.”

 

“Oh, does he?”

 

“Oh, yeah, definitely,” David nods. “And he tells me how funny and charming and sexy I am, too.”

 

“Sounds like an idiot.”

 

“He is,” David sighs. “But he has good taste.”

 

“Why’s he with you then?”

 

David shoves at his face. “Fuck you.”

 

“That’s no way to talk to your boyfriend!”

 

This was familiar territory. Matteo shoving his hand against David’s face, David tackling him back against the bed.

 

“Do you yield?”

 

“Never!” Matteo yelled.

 

David releases one of his hands to tickle him, smiling widely at his carefree giggles.

 

_What would it be like to taste that smile?_

 

He pauses. _Maybe…_

 

He leans down and quickly presses their lips together; Matteo doesn’t freeze this time, just letting out of a soft gasp.

 

“Better,” David says as he pulls away, as if Matteo’s smile wasn’t one of the most beautiful things he’d ever tasted.

 

“Better?”

 

“You didn’t freeze up this time!”

 

Matteo rolls his eyes, but seems to just notice their position. David was straddling him, one hand holding both of his wrists above his head. He pauses, tilting his head slightly. David can’t decipher the look in his eyes, but he watches as a blush spreads across Matteo’s cheeks.

 

_Exertion, probably. He’s never been one for physical activity._

 

They’re broken apart by a knock on the door.

 

“I know you’re in there.”

 

Matteo groans at Jonas’ voice. “No, I’m not.”

 

“Matteo, you better open this door.”

 

He groans again at Amira’s voice. David snickers, climbing off of Matteo.

 

“I’ll get it.” He shuffles across the room to unlock the door. “Password?”

 

“Everyone’s gone.”

 

“Good enough.” He opens the door wide enough to let them in, closing and locking it behind them. “It’s not even midnight, is there are reason everyone left so early?”

 

Jonas snickers. “Hans may have been trying to get Justus to leave, and he may possibly have been gesticulating wildly with a glass of red wine in his hands, that he accidentally spilled all down Justus’ front. Justus was not pleased, to say the very least.”

 

“I can still hear his voice…” Amira sighs fondly.

 

“This shirt is silk,” Jonas yells, mocking Justus’ pretentious accent. “It’s brand new and it’s _Armani._ ”

 

Matteo sits up with a snicker of his own. “Did Hans kick him out then?”

 

“Yeah, he tried to start a scene but Hans just kicked everyone out. I think they’re going clubbing.”

 

“Is anyone left?”

 

“Abdi is in the living room, but that’s just because we live in the same direction and he doesn’t want to walk alone at night,” Amira says. “But...that’s not the reason we’re here.”

 

“And that reason is?”

 

“So,” Amira starts, sitting at Matteo’s desk. “I heard a rumour.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I also saw you two grinding -”

 

“- it wasn’t grinding -” Matteo interjects.

 

“- it was grinding -” Jonas laughs.

 

“- _grinding_ on the dance floor. Explain?”

 

“You never told us what the rumour was.”

 

“Matteo.”

 

“Fiiiine,” he says, drawing out the word and sitting fully up. “We could possibly...be pretending to date.”

 

Jonas groans, but Amira locks eyes with Matteo. They share a look that David can’t discern before Amira leans over to smack him up the back of the head. At his soft ‘ow’ she runs a hand gently through his hair; it makes David smile.

 

“And why did you decide to do this?”

 

“At first it was to get Justus off my ass,” Matteo starts. “Which is why we were dancing -”

 

“- grinding -”

 

“- _dancing_ earlier. David told Justus he was my boyfriend.”

 

All four of them were silent for a moment.

 

“And _why_ do you think it’s a good idea to pretend to date?”

 

“Did Matteo tell you that Justus got a job?” David interrupts.

 

“A job? Justus?” Jonas is as incredulous as David was.

 

“Work experience, he apparently said.” David rolls his eyes.

 

“No, he didn’t tell me. Where?”

 

David just crosses his arms and stares Jonas down.

 

“Oh, fuck,” Jonas says after a moment. “Blattgold? He literally got a job at the same coffee shop where Matteo works?”

 

David hums his confirmation.

 

“Matteo,” Amira says softly. “Are you okay?”

 

Matteo sighs. “Maybe not one hundred percent. But I’m getting there.”

 

“But why are you pretending to be boyfriends, then? It’s not like David will be at the coffee shop during your shifts.”

 

Matteo laughs without humour. “You know Justus, Amira. Once he knows, he won’t let it go. David is going to have to come pick me up from work, or come visit me, or just be seen with me.”

 

David crosses the room and sits next to him, throwing an arm around his shoulders. “Which I’m perfectly fine with, Matteo.”

 

His grin is small but genuine. “Thanks, man.”

 

“‘Thanks, man’ he says.” David shakes his head. “What kind of boyfriend are you? How about - ‘thanks, baby’ or ‘thanks, honey’?”

 

Matteo rolls his eyes but cups his cheek. He kisses his nose gently and pulls back with a smile. “Thank you, darling.”

 

David knows he’s blushing. “Better.”

 

Matteo uses the hand on his cheek to push his head to the side.

 

“Anyway,” Jonas coughs, exchanging a look with Amira. “So is this just because Justus is a dick?”

 

“Not just because Justus is a dick,” Matteo groans. “You know how our friends keep trying to set me up, or help me get laid?”

 

Jonas nods.

 

“No matter how many times I tell them to stop it’s ‘Oh, Matteo, one of my friends is gay, you should hang out some time’ or ‘I’m sure there are plenty of guys here that’d fuck you’.” He groans again. “And I know they just want me to be happy, but they won’t stop.”

 

“Matteo,” Amira says. “They’d stop if you asked.”

 

“Would they though? I’ve already asked them. Apparently they think I need to -” He makes quotations with his fingers. “- get over him.”

 

“Get over Justus?” Jonas and Amira exchange a look.

 

“Apparently.”

 

“Aren’t you already over him?”

 

“Well, yeah. So I don’t know who they think I need to get over.”

 

Jonas and Amira exchange another look.

 

“You can’t tell,” David says quickly. “You two are the only ones that know.”

 

“Of course we won’t tell,” Amira says, rolling her eyes as she gets up. She kisses Matteo on top of the head and whispers “Be careful.” into his ear. David isn’t sure he’s supposed to hear it, but he’s still pressed against Matteo’s side. “I don’t want you to get hurt, habibi.”

 

“I’ll be okay,” he whispers back, kissing her cheek. David is confused, but receives her kiss on the cheek with a smile.

 

“See you all soon,” she smiles. “I have an Abdi to walk home.”

 

“I’ll walk you out,” Jonas says, leaving with a final look at David.

 

Once both of them are gone, him and Matteo sit in silence for a moment.

 

“Need a hug?”

 

Matteo nods, falling into David’s arms. He shudders a breath.

 

“Thank you, David.”

 

“For the hug?”

 

“For everything.”

 

They sit together, a familiar scene.

 

“Staying the night?”

 

“If that’s okay.”

 

“Of course, always.”

 

“Let me just take my binder off and brush my teeth.”

 

“Do you mind if I go first? I have to set Jonas up on the sofa.”

 

“By all means.”

 

“How kind.”

 

Matteo comes back after a moment, mockingly bowing for David to take his turn. As he leaves, Matteo throws some spare pajamas at him, which he catches easily.

 

He walks past Jonas, who’s settling down to sleep on the sofa.

 

“Oh, shit, sorry, I didn’t even offer to take the couch.”

 

Jonas rolls his eyes. “David, you spend at least two nights a week in Matteo’s bed. I’m pretty sure you have your own toothbrush here. By now it’s just assumed.”

 

David flushes, because he does have his own toothbrush.

 

“Now go on,” Jonas continues. “I’ll wait to turn the light off until you come back.”

 

He gets changed quickly, Matteo’s clothes a familiar comfort. Picking up his toothbrush, he grins softly at the memories attached to it. Matteo had asked him his favourite colour once, ages ago. He still doesn’t know how to describe the blue of Matteo’s eyes, so he’d just blurted out a random colour.

 

The next time David had slept over, he was presented with a brand new toothbrush - green. “For you, yeah?” Matteo had said. “With the amount of times you sleep over, I feel like you should have your own. Your breath is awful in the morning.”

 

He shakes his head and brushes his teeth. Who fondly reminisces over a toothbrush?

 

He spits into the sink, and stares at himself in the mirror.

 

_I’m a fucking idiot._

 

He should get it tattooed on his face.

 

‘David Schreibner, world’s biggest dumbass.’

 

Falling in love with your best friend? Stupid.

 

Pretending to date said best friend, something that will include kissing and cuddling and pet names?

 

Like he said.

 

David Schreibner, world’s biggest dumbass.

 

He’s going to see what Matteo is like when he’s in a relationship. If he was tender, loving, attentive.

 

Is it wrong of him, to be thankful he’d see him like that? Even for show - it’s more than he’d dared to dream of.

 

He knows how painful it will be. Each kiss, each hug, will be a dagger in his chest. A double edged sword cutting him open, stealing his breath.

 

It’s selfish, he knows, how he’ll cherish each moment.

 

Selfish and wrong and Matteo deserves better than him.

 

Matteo. God, Matteo. That beautiful boy.

 

_I’d do anything for you._

 

It was true, David hadn’t been lying, but he wants to go back in time and hit himself for almost revealing exactly how Matteo makes him feel, how much he cares for him.

 

He’d met Jonas first, over a year ago. They’d shared a lecture on business ethics - Jonas for his political science degree, and David for his business management. They tended to sit next to each other, each having a preferred seat.

 

“Ethical capitalism,” Jonas had scoffed one day. They were learning about alternatives to the current economic climate, and the ways to make capitalism ethical. “Capitalism can never be ethical.”

 

David had hummed in agreement. “Capitalism creates poverty and then uses it to its advantage. How can that be ethical?”

 

“It’s absurd,” Jonas had scoffed again. “No matter what you add to it, what regulations you put on it, capitalism at its core only benefits the rich. How can we make that ethical?”

 

“Kill the rich?”

 

Jonas had laughed a bit too loudly for their lecture and stuck out a hand. “Jonas Augustin.”

 

“David Schreibner.”

 

Their friendship had started with snarky comments but had slowly grown into studying together, or just getting coffee at a cafe near their lecture hall. Jonas seemed to be as impressed with David’s plans for the future - he was studying film as well as business, in the hopes of creating his own production company - as David was with his.

 

“I just want to change the world, you know?” He’d said as they left their lecture one day. He’d then asked if they could change their usual location to which David had shrugged. “Sure. Any particular reason?”

 

“My friend works at a coffee shop and apparently it’s so slow today that he 'dying and if I loved him at all I'd come visit him'. Guess he needs the entertainment.”

 

Ten minutes later saw them walking into Blattgold.

 

“Jonas, the absolute love of my life!” Jonas’ friend had yelled dramatically. “You’ve saved me!”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jonas had replied. They’d done a complicated handshake that spoke of many years of friendship, before he’d gestured towards David. “Matteo, I brought a friend, the one from my lecture I told you about.”

 

“Oh, the mysterious David,” Jonas’ friend - Matteo - had laughed.

 

David had always scoffed at the phrase ‘love at first sight’; it was a silly, childish thought. Matteo had turned towards him, and met his eyes.

 

There were no fireworks, no golden light or sweeping music. He didn’t feel as if he’d been struck by lighting. But the world seemed to slow, and he knew.

 

It was a boy in a coffee shop with messy hair and a crooked grin. Inconsequential, there are many boys with messy hair and crooked grins working in coffee shops. He should have been able to smile and nod, introduce himself and move on.

 

One doesn’t just ‘move on’ from Matteo.

 

Jonas snickers at him on the way back from the bathroom. “I’d say ‘share clothes to make it more believable’, but by this point I think your wardrobes are almost completely mixed together.”

 

It’s strange, that he’s comfortable around Jonas without his binder on. He’s in just a baggy jumper, but Jonas isn’t even looking at him, focused on plugging his phone in.

 

He thinks he’s meant to roll his eyes at Jonas’ comment. Instead he shuffles his feet. “Do you think it’s weird?”

 

“What’s weird?”

 

“How close I am to Matteo. The fact that we share clothes. The fact that I have a toothbrush here because I share his bed so often. The touching, or whatever.”

 

Jonas puts his phone down and turns to him. “David...sure, it’s different. He’s never been a tactile person. I’ve never seen him touch anyone as much or as casually as he does you. But I think it’s grounding for Matteo; he’s never really had a friend that does that. Or anyone, friend or more.”

 

David lets out a breath at his words. “What do you mean grounding?”

 

“He’s - I don’t know.” Jonas shakes his head; he’s obviously struggling to find the right words. “I’m not a therapist, and you probably know more about his emotions than I do, but even when we were younger - before all this Justus nonsense - he was always...I don’t know if it’s a cliche, but he’s always - floated, in a way. He told me once that sometimes he doesn’t feel like what he’s doing affects anyone, that he’s an afterthought. He needs something - someone - to remind him that he’s - that he does have an effect, I guess. You - you touching him, sharing his clothes - ground him.”

 

David smiles at the floor. “So it isn’t weird?”

 

“Nah, man. Just because it isn’t the norm doesn’t mean it’s weird. A lot of people would be a lot happier if it was more normalized, I think.” Jonas grins and holds up his fists like he’s about to start boxing. “And if someone says it is, send them my way.”

 

“Thanks, Jonas.”

 

“No need to thank me, man. You’re my brother, I gotta look out for my brothers.”

 

If David had been wearing a binder, he would have hugged Jonas. Instead he just smiles widely and heads back to Matteo’s room.

 

Matteo makes grabby hands at him when he finally re-enters the bedroom; he is helpless but to join Matteo on his bed. He’ll always be helpless when it comes to Matteo. “What took you so long?”

 

“I was talking to Jonas.”

 

“Fuck Jonas,” Matteo groans.

 

“Hey, now,” David smirks, burying a hand in Matteo’s hair. “Don’t talk about fucking Jonas, your boyfriend might get jealous.”

 

“What did you talk about then?”

 

“He made a comment about how I always spend the night in your bed and share your clothes, or whatever.”

 

“And?” Matteo turns to stare at him fully.

 

“I asked him if it was weird.”

 

Matteo pauses, and looks almost nervous. “And what did he say?”

 

“That it wasn’t weird. And that it helps you.”

 

“How’d he say it helps me?” He looks even more nervous.

 

“That it’s grounding for you. Still not quite sure what he meant by that completely.”

 

Matteo sighs. “I don’t think I’ve ever really told you, or explained it. I don’t know if it’s a depression thing, or an ADHD thing, or a sensory thing, or an incredible combination of the three, but sometimes I don’t feel - _real_ isn’t the best word.”

 

“He said that once you told him you feel like an afterthought.”

 

Matteo sighs again. “I’ve never been the best at anything. I’m not the smartest or the funniest or the most charismatic. I’m not even the _dumbest._ I’m just there. I don’t have an effect on other people. Sometimes I just need the reminder that someone’s here, that _I’m_ here.”

 

“Matteo,” David whispers. “There are so many people in your life that you affect. You’re not an afterthought.”

 

Matteo grins at his words, almost like he can’t help it, before shaking his head. “What else did he say?”

 

“You’d never been a tactile person and that he’s surprised by the amount you touch me.”

 

“Fuck,” Matteo struggles to sit up. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I can stop touching you so much.”

 

“That’s not it at all!” David rushes to pull him back down. “I was actually worried _I_ touch _you_ too much. I’m literally wearing your clothes and lying in your bed.”

 

“I thought business majors were meant to be smart,” he snorts.

 

“And I thought psychology majors were meant to be smart, but I guess not.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Ah, that’s better than fucking Jonas, I suppose. I am your boyfriend after all.”

 

Matteo turns his back to David with a huff. David takes the invitation and wraps an arm around him.

 

“Goodnight, David.”

 

“Goodnight, Matteo.” He pauses. “You do the same for me, you know.”

 

Matteo turns his head to indicate he’s listening.

 

“Ground me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a bit of a warning, Matteo talks for a moment about his mental health/elaborates on what he discussed in chapter one! Also Justus is disgusting and I kind of...wrote him looking like Stefan on accident.
> 
> A bit shorter than the first chapter, but Jonas and Amira loving David? That's the good place.

He says goodbye to Jonas on his way out of Matteo’s flat the next morning.

 

“Is he still asleep?” Jonas yawns widely.

 

“Yeah, didn’t want to wake him,” David smiles sheepishly. He always looks too peaceful in the morning; David hates waking him up.

 

“Did you at least leave a note?”

 

“I left the money on the dresser.”

 

Jonas laughs but pats the space next to him. “Come on, sit down. He’ll be grumpy all day if you leave without telling him.”

 

“Fiiiine. But I’m making a cup of coffee at the very least. Want one?”

 

“Sure, man, thanks.” Jonas stands up and stretches. “Actually, make three. I’m sure Matteo will be out soon, whining.”

 

Jonas follows him into the kitchen, leaning against the counter. There’s a pause as David reaches to pull down three mugs.

 

“Thank you, David,” Jonas says after a moment.

 

“For the coffee?” David answers distractedly. “I’m already making two. Pretty shitty of me if I didn’t make yours.”

 

“Not the coffee - though thanks - but for doing this for Matteo.” He takes a breath. “All you’ve done for Matteo, actually. I told you a bit last night, but I just wanted to say thanks again. You’ve really helped him.”

 

“He’s helped me, too.”

 

“I know it’ll be hard, though. So thanks.”

 

“Why do you think it’ll be hard?” 

 

“Because you’re in love with him,” Jonas shrugs.

 

David jerks so violently he nearly drops a mug. “What? I’m not in love with Matteo.”

 

Jonas sends him a droll look, to which David can only sigh in response.

 

“Is it obvious?”

 

“Not to Matteo, I don’t think.”

 

“Don’t tell him.”

 

He straightens up to slap David’s shoulder. “Matteo and I have known each other since diapers. But you’re my brother, too. Of course I won’t tell.”

 

Relief washes through him. He sets the mugs down and brings his fist to meet Jonas’, who laughs loudly and pulls him into a hug.

 

“Now,” Jonas continues once they’ve broken apart. “You were about to make coffee.”

 

David laughs. “I was indeed.”

 

It must have been the smell of freshly brewed coffee or the sound of their voices, but minutes later David hears the floorboards creak. He doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s Matteo, and is immediately proved correct when he feels a weight on his back.

 

“Mmm. Coffee.”

 

“Indeed. But I’m not making yours, I refuse to be accountable for the disgusting amount of sugar you add.”

 

Jonas snickers, beginning to make Matteo’s himself. “I still don’t know how you drink your coffee black, dude, it’s fucking gross.”

 

“Don’t you know, Jonas,” Matteo says sleepily. “He doesn’t need sugar. He’s sweet enough.”

 

David knows he’s blushing even as he elbows Matteo in the ribs. “Ass.”

 

“Just being honest.” He doesn’t even move when David hits him, just continues clinging. 

 

“Come on, drink your coffee,” Jonas prompts. “You’re especially clingy when you’re tired.”

 

“I’m never clingy,” Matteo responds. The fact that he’s still clinging to David defeats his protestations. “You’re just jealous.”

 

“Of you, or of David?”

 

“Me, obviously. David is comfortable.”

 

“You do flatter me, don’t you,” David smiles.

 

“I’m your boyfriend,” Matteo sighs dramatically. David can feel his breath against the back of his neck and has to hold back a shiver. “Of course I have to flatter you.”

 

“You know, it’s only me here,” Jonas says with a grin. “You don’t have to convince me.”

 

“Practice makes perfect.”

 

Jonas sends David a look he can’t translate as the shuffle their way back towards the sofas.

 

“You know, I’m still offended you didn’t ask me to be your fake boyfriend.”

 

“You didn’t come over and tell Justus that we were boyfriends,” Matteo says through a yawn. He’s not pleased when David pushes him on to the sofa, but immediately curls up against David’s side when he sits down. “I’m a catch, you had to be quicker.”

 

“I won, I suppose,” David says.

 

“Did you?” Jonas asks. “Did you really?”

 

“Depends on what you mean by winning, I guess.” He laughs. 

 

“Shh, you’re both very mean,” Matteo whines.

 

“Would you have us any other way?” 

 

“I suppose not.” 

 

“Don’t worry Luigi, we’ll always be here to bully you,” Jonas - for lack of a better word - giggles.

 

“Thanks, Jonas,” he responds with close mouthed grin.

 

They don’t speak as they drink their coffee; eventually David says goodbye to both of them, dropping a kiss to Matteo’s head.

 

He doesn’t even bother changing out of his - Matteo’s - pajamas. He’d wash and return them to him some other time; sometimes he thinks he’s the only reason any of Matteo’s laundry gets done.

 

He unlocks his bike, sighing. He really was such a fucking idiot.

 

He knew logically it wasn’t a good idea; pretending to date anyone is stupid, let alone someone you’re in love with. But Matteo had looked so -

 

Forlorn was a good way to describe it. 

 

He’d looked dejected, like David had already said no. Maybe he’s just as stupid as David.

 

Of course he wasn’t going to say no. 

 

Laura was barely awake when he arrived home, sat on the floor with a cup of coffee in her hands.

 

“Why are you on the floor?” He furrows his brow.

 

“If I knew, I’d tell you,” she says through a yawn.

 

He shrugs but joins her on the floor.

 

“So, I’m an idiot.”

 

“I mean, yeah,” she snorts. “I already know that.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You look upset.” She nudges their shoulders together. “What happened?”

 

“So, it turns out Justus got a new job.” He narrows his eyes in thought. “Can you say  _ ‘new job’ _ if he’s never had a job in his life? Whatever, he got a job.”

 

“At?”

 

“Blattgold.”

 

Laura swears loudly.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“What does this have to do with you being a dumbass?”

 

“Hey, I didn’t say dumbass!”

 

“You didn’t have to, I did.”

 

“Fair,” David sighs. “You’re not wrong.”

 

“So, what’d you do?”

 

“I’m pretending to date Matteo to get Justus off his ass.”

 

Laura chokes on the next sip of her coffee. “What?”

 

“Yeah. Turns out our friends trying to set him up has upset him as well, so it’s half Justus half friends.”

 

“David...you’re pretending to date your best friend. With whom you are in love.”

 

“I told you it was idiotic.”

 

“I was right to call you a dumbass.”

 

_ David Schreibner, world’s biggest dumbass. _

 

“What kind of rom com bullshit -”

 

“You didn’t see his face, Laura.”

 

“He’s always been good with puppy dog eyes,” she nods.

 

“No - not just that. He was - scared.”

 

“Okay.” She wraps an arm around his shoulder. “You may be an idiot, but you’re well meaning.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

She squeezes him, and for a moment they sit there on the floor, not speaking. His phone buzzes in his pocket, startling both of them out of their silence.

 

**[Matteo 11:35]** schreibner why do you always steal my clothes and leave yours here

 

“Matteo text you?” she asks, removing her arm from around him.

 

“How’d you know?”

 

“Your face got really soft. It was pretty gay.” She’s smiling.

 

“You have no room to talk. I swear, every time Linn texts you melt.” 

 

“Yeah, but I’m actually dating Linn,” she responds, pointing a finger at him. “You’re  _ pretending to date the boy you’re in love with. _ ”

 

David ignores her in favour of texting Matteo back.

 

**[David 11:36]** i’ll wash them and give them back

 

**[Matteo 11:36]** :D

 

**[Matteo 11:36]** i won’t wash yours

 

**[David 11:37]** is that the only reason you texted?

 

**[Matteo 11:40]** no.

 

**[David 11:40]** ...then what was the reason?

 

**[Matteo 11:41]** can we run away later?

 

**[David 11:41]** of course. Yours at 16:30?

 

**[Matteo 11:43]** thank you

 

David smiles and sends back a small heart.

 

“I’m assuming you’re leaving again?” Laura smirks.

 

“Not quite yet,” he responds, getting up.

 

“Will you ever tell him?” she asks. David pauses at the door before he turns around.

 

“I don’t want to change what we have.”

 

Laura just looks at him for a moment.

 

“I’m going to shower,” he says eventually.

 

“Let me know before you leave.”

 

He nods and heads towards the bathroom.

 

He’s early meeting Matteo, by a good 20 minutes. 

 

“Long time no see.” Matteo grins when he opens the door. 

 

“About,” he pulls out his phone. “Five hours. Long time.”

 

“Maybe I like your company,” Matteo grins, reaching for his shoes.

 

“Maybe I like yours.” Possibly too much.

 

“You’re early, though. What if I had been in the shower? Tsk, tsk.”

 

“You? Shower on a Saturday afternoon?” David gasps.

 

“You never know!” he says, waving his arms wildly. “I could be trying to impress you.”

 

“Well,” David snorts. “You didn’t do a very good job.”

 

“I’m wearing clean socks. And -  _ and  _ \- they match.”

 

“Matching socks? Oh, darling, I may swoon.” 

 

“I thought so,” Matteo grins. “Are you wooed?”

 

“I thought I was already wooed.”

 

“Speaking of, we should probably sort out some details, actually.” Matteo grimaces.

 

“Pool?” 

 

“Nice.” He grabs his jacket of a hook, and gestures for David to leave the flat ahead of him.

 

“I’d say I’d race you, but that’s never fair.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Mr. Look At Me I’m So Fit, that I’m a mere mortal compared to your heavenly muscles.” Matteo bows. “I’m so grateful to be in your presence.”

 

David rolls his eyes. “Come on, idiot.”

 

-

 

They’d found the abandoned military base months ago; decades derelict, Matteo had apparently walked past it for years without pausing to give it thought. They were common throughout Europe, relics of Soviet rule and disastrous war. It was peaceful, though, even with its history. The empty pool inside had become something of a haven for them, somewhere to go if either of them needed to run away.

 

“How long have we been dating then?” They’re sat in the deep end - symbolic maybe, of how deep David had gotten himself into this, into Matteo.

 

“Well, you said it was new.” He stops to think. “Two weeks?”

 

Matteo nods. “How did we get together?”

 

“Hmm...”

 

“Yeah?” Matteo prompts.

 

“Two weeks ago last night, we were invited to a party at Sam’s, but we said no because I was tired. Remember?”

 

Matteo hadn’t even spared it a second thought before saying he was staying with David. They’d spent the night at David’s, just watching movies, barely even speaking. It was breathtaking that they could just sit with each other and he didn’t feel the pressure to fill the silence.

 

“So I put the moves on you while we were watching a movie?” Matteo smirks.

 

“Hey, now,” David protests. “I totally put the moves on you.”

 

“Nah,” Matteo says, reaching to mess with a lock of hair that had fallen into David’s eyes. “You wouldn’t because you’re worried about me getting upset because I’ve only been single three months.”

 

“Make sense.” He smacks Matteo’s hand away from his face. 

 

Matteo grins. “Of course it makes sense, it’s me. When have I ever not made sense?”

 

“Do you want the list chronologically or alphabetized?”

 

“I hate you.”

 

They sit in silence for a moment.

 

“Is there another reason you wanted to run away?”

 

“I wanted to - kind of explain what I said last night. When I said I don’t affect people.”

 

“You don’t have to -”

 

“I want to,” he interrupts.

 

“Okay,” David answers. Matteo seems to be gathering his thoughts.

 

“When my dad left,” he pauses to take a breath; it seems to shudder through him. “And when my mom started to get worse, I tried - I tried, really hard. I tried to make her - better. I know now I couldn’t have made her feel better, but I was a child. 

 

“No matter what I did, I couldn’t make her feel better. I couldn’t make her happy. I felt - I was secondary to her pain, you know? And I know that isn’t true. But no matter how many hugs I gave her, no matter how often I brought her breakfast in bed, no matter how many flowers I picked for her on the way home - I couldn’t make her feel better. I didn’t have an effect.

 

“I had Jonas - but Jonas was just noticing girls, and I wasn’t. I felt weird talking to him about how I felt, like I’d make him unhappy. Like the only effect I’d have on him was making him unhappy. 

 

“My only purpose was to make people - worse. My only effect was negative. So I stopped trying, and then didn’t have an effect at all.” He laughs slightly. “Okay, I’m done. I’m pretty sure I haven’t talked for that long about my feelings outside of therapy.”

 

David moves until he’s knelt in front of Matteo, and grabs both of his hands. “I’m honoured you trust me enough.”

 

“Who else?” Matteo laughs again. “You know more about me than anyone.”

 

“I hate that you can’t see how important you are.”

 

“Maybe one day.”

 

The buzzing from Matteo’s phone echoes in the empty pool. He removes his hands from David’s to check it and groans slightly. “It’s Jonas.”

 

He turns his phone so David can read it.

 

**[Jonas 17:48]** Abdi’s tonight at 20:00. Everyone will be there. I’m assuming David is with you, bring him. 

 

“Is this our big chance to proof that we’re in love, or whatever?” David stands and takes a moment to stretch.

 

“Oh, are we in love? Thought it was new.” Matteo takes his offered hand and pulls himself up.

 

“Matteo Florenzi…” David starts. He grabs both of Matteo’s hands again and brings them to his heart. “Don’t you know? I’ve been in love with you since the day we met.”

 

He thinks he sees Matteo blush at his words but dismisses it.

 

“Yeah, yeah. They’re going to make fun of us as it is, you don’t need to give declarations of love.” 

 

“Shall we, then?”

 

“We shall.”

 

-

 

“Ready for this?” Matteo takes a deep breath and extends his hand.

 

“Of course.” David takes his hand. For how tactile they are, this is the first time he’s properly held Matteo’s hand; David knows he has sweaty palms and is almost relieved that his aren’t the only ones slightly damp.

 

It feels like a big step, which is a foolish thought. Hand holding is hardly monumentous, normally one of the first physical aspects of a relationship. But Matteo’s hand is soft in his, fingers intertwined. Strangely intimate, even though he’s felt the same fingers run through his hair, the same fingers caress his cheek. 

 

He can almost hear Laura in the back of his mind.

 

_ “What kind of rom com bullshit -” _

 

Matteo texts Abdi and they’re immediately buzzed in to the building.

 

“David, Luigi!” Abdi yells. It’s obvious he’s already had a few beers. “You finally got here, we’ve been waiting for - are you holding hands?”

 

Carlos turns around quickly; his mouth opens into a wide but slightly shocked grin. “Bro, no way. Kiki was  _ right _ ?”

 

“Right about what?” 

 

“She heard something about how David and Matteo were dating. Are you?”

 

At their nods he shouts. “I thought she was just drunk! Oh, someone is about to earn so much money.”

 

Matteo stops dead in his tracks, stopping David with him. “Did you -  _ bet  _ on us?”

 

“Of course we did.” Hanna rolls her eyes.

 

“God, yeah, Matteo’s been making eyes at you for months,” Carlos groans. “David’s been just as bad.”

 

David flushes but finishes dragging Matteo towards a free sofa.

 

“Okay, leave them alone,” Jonas says, coming to David’s rescue.

 

Abdi whines. “We have questions though.”

 

“What questions?” Matteo sighs as he unceremoniously drops himself into David’s lap. “I have every right not to answer them.”

 

“How long?” Hanna is quick with her first question.

 

“Two weeks,” Matteo answers. 

 

Abdi puts his hand up like they’re in school, and David reluctantly motions for him to speak.

 

He wiggles his eyebrows. “Is Matteo a good kisser?” 

 

“Yeah,” Jonas answers for him. “I’ve always thought so.”

 

“Why, thank you, Jonas!” Matteo grins. “You’re a good kisser as well.”

 

“While it’s good to know that Jonas thinks he’s a good kisser, I was definitely talking to David.”

 

“Yes,” David sighs dramatically. “He’s a very good kisser.”

 

Matteo turns and smacks a kiss to David’s mouth. “Thanks, babe.”

 

“Who made the first move?” Mia asks. David can see Amira and Jonas exchange a look; why were they always exchanging looks?

 

“I did.” Matteo tosses a grin over his shoulder. “David was too shy, apparently.”

 

“I’m not  _ shy,  _ I just didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.”

 

“Oh, fuck, I just made so much money,” Carlos shouts. Why is he always shouting?

 

“Where have you fucked in your flats so I know where to avoid?” Abdi interrupts. Jonas reaches over to smack him upside the head.

 

“Now wouldn’t you like to know?” Matteo sticks out his tongue.

 

“They’ve done it everywhere.” Abdi looks horrified.

 

Carlos laughs loudly and points to David. “Look at him blushing!” 

 

“Is he an attentive lover, David?” Sam leers, licking her lips suggestively. “He seems like he’d be very - thorough.”

 

David absolutely refuses to follow that train of thought. Matteo was not his, would never be his.

 

“Okay,  _ now  _ can we leave them alone?”

 

It’s scary, how easy it is to sit with their friends, Matteo in his arms. That part isn’t new, but every once and a while Matteo will look over his shoulder with a soft grin, or place a kiss on David’s cheek.

 

That was new. 

 

-

 

“You don’t have to walk me to work, you know.” 

 

“Are you going to argue with me every time I walk you to work?” 

 

“Probably,” Matteo shrugs. “I’ve been told I’m an argumentative person.”

 

“Amira is right.”

 

“How’d you know it was Amira?” Matteo laughs.

 

“It sounded very ‘things Amira tells Matteo when he’s being an idiot’.”

 

“Well, Amira is mean. Doesn’t mean you have to walk me to work.”

 

“For the millionth time, it’s on the way to my lecture hall. I stayed at yours last night, would you rather me walk five steps behind you all the way because I’m going the same direction?” David shoves him. “Idiot.”

 

They walk in silence for a moment. “It went well Saturday, with our friends,” Matteo says after a moment.

 

“Were you worried?” David smiles.

 

Matteo frowns in thought. “No, but I  _ was _ a little shocked that they had so many bets.” 

 

David wiggles his eyebrows. “Apparently you’ve been making eyes at me for months.” 

 

“Apparently you’ve been just as bad.”

 

David groans. “You’re my best friend. Can I not care about my friend without it being gay?”

 

_ Ha. _

 

“Apparently not,” Matteo responds. They fall quiet again.

 

“So,” David says, drawing out the word. “How often do you and Jonas kiss then? Should I be jealous?”

 

Matteo tilts his head to the side, as if thinking. “Well, I’ve kissed him more than I’ve kissed you.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“He was my first kiss, actually,” Matteo explains. “We almost had a thing when we were both coming to terms with our sexualities, but eventually decided it was weird. And if we happen to make out at parties sometimes, I guess we make out at parties.”

 

“You’ve never made out with me at parties,” David pouts.

 

“Well, I’m sure there’ll be an opportunity next week. Why,  _ are _ you jealous?”

 

He is, though. He shouldn’t be. But he  _ wants _ with Matteo. And that is almost as dangerous as hope.

 

“Why would I be jealous? Besides, apparently we’ll be making out at a party next week.”

 

Matteo flushes slightly. “You don’t have to make out with me, I was mostly joking.”

 

“Babe.” David turns so he’s walking backwards, facing Matteo. “You know half of our friends won’t believe us until they’ve seen my tongue down your throat.”

 

He scratches his nose. “That’s...charming.”

 

“Honesty is rarely charming,” David grins.

 

“God, fine.” He shoves David until he’s facing forward again “But you better be a good kisser, Schreibner.”

 

David raises his eyebrows. “Should I kiss Jonas then? To find out if I’m a good kisser?”

 

“No.” Matteo’s voice is sharper than David is expecting. “Don’t kiss Jonas.”

 

There’s a beat.

 

“I won’t.”

 

Matteo nudges their shoulders together. “Good.”

 

“Good.”

 

-

 

He’s just sitting down for his lecture when he notices a notification from Amira.

 

**[Amira 9:41]** Lunch? My treat.

 

It’s suspicious, but David’s a student and refuses to turn down free food.

 

**[David 9:48]** your treat? sounds dangerous, but sure, thanks. usual place?

 

**[Amira 9:48]** :) 

 

**[Amira 9:48]** 12:30?

 

**[David 9:49]** see you then.

 

David pockets his phone with a sigh. He has a feeling whatever Amira wants to say to him will begin with a smack up the head.

 

_ Free food, you can do it for free food. _

 

He’s doodling idly in the margins of his notebook when he hears someone sit next to him.

 

“So, you’re dating Matteo.”

 

David almost groans. Why couldn’t he have just majored in film? Why couldn’t he have just gone to university back in Hamburg? They just  _ had  _ to both be studying business and sharing classes. “Hello, Justus.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Why what?”  It’s a strange opener, but he doesn’t want to give the idiot the satisfaction of his confusion, so he schools his face into a more neutral expression.  _ Resting bitch face _ , Matteo calls it.

 

“Why are you dating him?” Justus prompts. Blond hair styled up even though it isn’t even ten in the morning on a dreary Monday. His glasses probably cost more than David’s rent.  _ Dick. _

 

“You dated him for nine months. I could ask you the same question.”

 

Justus hums but doesn’t answer. 

 

“Is there a reason you’re here?” David prompts.

 

“I can see the appeal.”

 

“Like I said, you  _ did _ date him for nine months.”

 

Justus hums again and taps a finger to his nose. “He has a lovely mouth. Nimble fingers.”

 

David’s knuckles clench around his pencil, resisting the urge to break the dickhead’s expensive  _ Ralph Lauren _ glasses. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about, von Ehren.”

 

Justus smirks but stands. As he leaves David wonders how a five sentence conversation could leave such a dirty taste in his mouth. He shakes his head. This class was too important to be ruined by some rich dickhead.

 

The lecture goes by slowly, but Justus - to his relief - doesn’t try to catch him afterwards. The cafe he’s meeting Amira at is only a ten minute walk so he’s early, but she’s already sat at their usual table.

 

He gives her a quick kiss on the cheek before nearly throwing himself into the chair across from her. He notices she’s already ordered him coffee and a sandwich, and barely resists the urge to kiss her again.

 

“Long night?”

 

“Long lecture.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“Justus talked to me for maybe thirty seconds before class started and it kind of - ruined the rest of it.”

 

“What’d he say?”

 

“He asked me why I was dating Matteo.”

 

She furrows her brow. “He is aware he dated Matteo for almost a year, yes?”

 

“He also said some - I don’t know. It was gross.”

 

She tilts her head in question.

 

“To quote him, ‘he has a lovely mouth and nimble fingers’.”

 

Amira inhales sharply. “Fuck.”

 

“Watch your language, Mahmood.”

 

“Did you punch him?”

  
“No, but I nearly broke my pencil in half trying not to.”

 

Amira takes a moment. 

 

“You’re in love with Matteo.” It’s not a question; she already knows the answer.

 

“How’d you know?”

 

“You’re pretty obvious.” She reaches across the table to grab his hand. “But don’t worry, he’s as oblivious as you are obvious.”

 

There’s a pause.

 

“He’s easy to love,” David says softly.

 

“He really is,” Amira smiles, pulling back. There was something about Matteo that made her softer; no matter how much the two bicker, there’s always a fondness in her tone. “Did I ever tell you about the first time he called me habibti?”

 

“I don’t think so, no.” He’d noticed that Matteo calls her habibti, but hadn’t given it much thought.

 

“It was...years ago. We were study partners for half of the year once. His last year in school was bad, did he tell you?”

 

David nods.

 

“I called him ‘habibi’ once, after he’d passed an exam he was worried about. The next time I saw him he called me ‘habibti’. He said it completely wrong,” she laughs, reluctantly fond. A very familiar feeling to have in regards to Matteo. “But he’d looked it up because he was apparently offended that I could call him habibi but he didn’t know the female version. It wasn’t a declaration of his undying love, it’s used pretty casually, but none of my other friends had gone out of their way to do that.”

 

“Aw, was that when you knew?”

  
“When I knew what?” She looks wary.

 

“That you’d be best friends forever.”

 

She kicks him under the table. “I have a reputation to uphold, Schreibner.”

 

“I’d never shame your reputation.” He looks down at his coffee, an almost bittersweet smile spreading across his face. “He does so much, but still thinks he doesn’t do enough. Like when I first came out, and he ignored me for a week. I thought he was disgusted by me, but he was doing  _ research.  _ And then he apologised because he’d ignored me for a week.”

 

“I invited you for lunch so I could tell you that you’re an idiot,” she says, taking a sip of her coffee.

 

“You’re not wrong.”

 

She sets her mug down on its saucer and makes eye contact with him. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

“I’d do anything to make sure he doesn’t get hurt.”

 

“I’m not just worried about Matteo, David.” She reaches across the table to grab his hand again. “You deserve to be happy just as much as he does.”

 

He ducks his head. “Careful, if you keep talking like this I may think you like me.”

 

“Just eat your sandwich,” she says, releasing his hand with a roll of her eyes. “I know Matteo gets off work at two, and I’m assuming you’re picking him up.”

 

“Of course, my queen bought it for me. I have to finish it.” He doesn’t deny or confirm that he’s going to be picking Matteo up from work.

  
“You’ve been spending too much time with Matteo.”

 

He just shrugs, because no matter how much time he spends with Matteo he’ll always want more.

 

Amira ends up walking with him to Blattgold.

 

“Boyfriend,” Matteo yells when they enter. He immediately begins to take off his apron, walking over to them with a smile. “You’ve come to save me.”

 

David rolls his eyes. “Of course.”

 

_ “Buongiorno,  _ habibti,” Matteo smiles at Amira, kissing her on the cheek. “Didn’t know you’d be coming with.”

 

“We were getting lunch together,” she explains. Matteo nods in understanding before reaching over to pull David into a hug. He inhales deeply, the smell of coffee beans and pastry a comforting scent.

 

“I didn’t get a kiss, Florenzi,” David pouts when he pulls back.

 

“Well, if I must…” He presses his lips to David’s. “ _ Buongiorno _ , David.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter than the first two! Justus is still an asshole, and David and Matteo are still stupid.

“Are you nervous?” It’s early; too early for David to be awake on a Saturday. Matteo didn’t usually work until noon, but it was Justus’ first day, and apparently that meant he had to work hours earlier. He had been tempted to stay in bed, sheets smelling of Matteo, but he wasn’t going to let Matteo go to work by himself. Not today.

 

“A bit.” His voice is unsteady, honesty in his sheepish grin. He runs a hand through his hair - something David has noticed him doing the entire walk to work. “Is it bad that I am?”

 

“No. He’s an ass,” David states with a firm nod.

 

“No protestations from me.” 

 

“I hate him.” 

 

“He’s a very hateable guy,” Matteo agrees.

 

“No protestations from me,” David mimics. Matteo shoves him, but there’s a smile on his face now, so it’s worth a little physical violence.

 

They walk in silence for a moment before Matteo grabs David by the arm.

 

“Babe.” Matteo gasps dramatically and holds his free hand to his heart. “We’ve been fake dating a  _ whole week.  _ What do you want to do for our anniversary?”

 

“I thought you were the romantic one.”

 

“You’re the mysterious film student, you should be the romantic one,” Matteo says.

 

“Ah, you got it wrong,” David corrects. “I’m the mysterious, emotionally unattainable one that hides his emotions and is too scared to show how much he loves you. You have to be the romantic one.”

 

“Edgy,” he says, tugging on David’s ear gently.

 

“I do try, you know,” he responds, ducking away. 

 

“How about - meet me after work. I’ll take you out for lunch, my treat.”

 

“How kind of you!”

 

“I’m a gentleman.” Matteo bows. “Of course I’ll treat my sweetheart to lunch on our anniversary.”

 

“I don’t think anyone has ever called you a gentleman,” David snickers.

 

“Hey, you don’t know what I’m like in a relationship!”

 

David wishes so desperately for that knowledge. 

 

They fall silent again, content to walk together. The sun isn’t warm, but it’s bright. Matteo’s squinting and it’s obvious he didn’t get much sleep last night. David didn’t either, Mattteo’s tossing and his own worry keeping him awake.

 

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

 

It’s apropos of nothing and David starts, before taking a moment to think. 

 

“I don’t know. I don’t know if I like the idea of not having a choice.” He doesn’t say that there’s no way he could be destined to be with someone else, with how all encompassing his love for Matteo is. He also doesn’t ask why Matteo brought it up, knowing it’s partly a way to cover up his nerves. “You?”

 

“I don’t  _ not  _ believe in soulmates.” He looks up, squinting again. “But I think the soulmate bit comes after.”

 

“What the hell does that mean?”

 

“Like, if you’re with someone, and you click. You have to make the connection first. So it isn’t predestined, or whatever. There’s always going to be multiple people that could be your soulmate. But the ‘fate’ part is what comes after. Does that make sense?”

 

David nods slowly. “Surprisingly, it kind of does.”

 

“Fuck you, I always make sense.”

 

David rolls his eyes, but doesn’t respond; they’ve reached the coffee shop. He sees Matteo run a hand through his hair again. David opens the door for him, gesturing for him to enter.

 

“Ladies first.”

 

“Why thank you, kind gentleman,” Matteo says, curtsying slightly.

 

“I thought you were the gentleman?” David uses his free hand to thoughtfully stroke his chin.

 

“You can borrow my title for a minute,” the other boy grins.

 

“How sweet.”

 

“Matteo.” Justus’ voice echoes through the mostly empty coffee shop; Matteo stiffens at David’s side. He wraps an arm around Matteo’s waist, feeling him relax at the touch. They turn to see Justus leaning against the counter with a grin on his face that David wants nothing more then to backhand off. “You’re almost late. Oh, and David. Hello.”

 

David doesn’t even attempt a smile, just nods in his vague direction and turns back to Matteo.

 

“Here,” David says, taking off his beanie. “Your hair is a mess.”

 

“You just like seeing me in your clothes,” Matteo smiles softly as David pulls the hat over his messy hair.

 

David pulls back and gives him an obvious once over. “Can’t deny that.” 

 

“Aren’t you supposed to say something like ‘but I like seeing you without any clothes more’?”

 

David rolls his eyes to hide his flush. “Shut it, you.”

 

Instead of responding, Matteo leans in to brush a kiss against David’s lips. “Thank you.”

 

“I’ll see you after work.”

 

“I’m off at 12:30.”

 

“See you at 12:30, then.”

 

“See you at 12:30.”

 

He leaves, giving Matteo one last kiss on the cheek.

 

The day drags, David worried about how Matteo’s day is going. Finally  _ finally  _ it’s 12:15 and he could rescue him.

 

He can almost hear Matteo saying something about David being the heroic knight to his damsel in distress, and smiles slightly.

 

He arrives at Blattgold ten minutes early, and is tempted to just wait outside so he doesn’t have to see Justus’ stupid face. He squashes that thought almost immediately; he has a damsel to save, after all.

 

Matteo looks stressed but relieved that David is here. “I’m off in ten,  _ tesoro _ .”

  
  


_ Tesoro. _

 

David feels his brain short circuit, like it always does when Matteo casually speaks Italian. Whether a loud  _ cazzo  _ when he burns himself cooking, or a tender  _ buona notte _ sleepily whispered next to David in bed, it never failed to make him - for lack of a better word - melt.

 

He tends to be free with Italian endearments, which doesn’t help the whole ‘being in love with your best friend’ thing. He’d explained once that it’s easier to express emotions in a language only he spoke, so a simple _polpetto_ or _angelo_ to one of their friends was common. 

 

On occasion, Matteo will forget himself or be distracted and absentmindedly toss  _ amore mio  _ to David over his shoulder.

 

David had to physically leave the room when Matteo accidentally called him  _ cuore mio.  _ It’s not his proudest moment, and he still flushes with embarrassment when he thinks about it.

 

“Feel free to leave, Matteo,” his manager says from behind the counter. “You came in early today, you don’t have to make your friend wait.”

 

“Thanks, Lily,” he smiles, removing his apron. He turns to David and nods. “I’ll be right out, just need to get my jacket.”

 

As he leaves, David can feel Justus sidle up to him. “How long have you been dating, then?”

 

He closes his eyes, not in the mood to deal with Justus right now. Opening his eyes, he forced the least genuine smile he can on his face. “Three weeks.”

 

“Not long,” Justus says. He hums.

 

“Like I said,” David responds. “It’s new.”

 

“I’m sure  _ that  _ will last.”

 

“What’s your deal?” David snaps.

 

“I don’t have a deal,” Justus responds, raising his hands in faux innocence.

 

“Somehow I don’t believe that.”

 

Justus looks David up and down before scoffing. “He could do better.”

 

“What, like you?”

 

“I never said that,” Justus says with a smirk.

 

“No, but you implied it.”

 

“I didn’t imply anything.”

 

“Right,” Matteo says loudly, slipping in between them to wrap an arm around David’s waist. He doesn’t even bother hiding the fact that he’s interrupting them. “I’m done, let’s go.”

 

“I believe we have a date, Florenzi,” David says with a wide grin.

 

“I believe we do.”

 

He waves to Lily as he leaves, but completely ignores Justus. David’s wide grin softens when he interlaces their fingers.

 

They automatically start heading in the same direction, eventually - to David’s disappointment - letting go of each other’s hands.

 

“What did he say to you?” Matteo says after a moment of silence.

 

David sighs. “He said some shit about how you could do better.”

 

“What,” Matteo scoffs incredulously. “Does he mean him?”

 

“He said he didn’t but. It definitely sounded like he did.”

 

“That’s bullshit.” He scoffs again. “You’re more attractive than he is, anyway. Better kisser.”

 

David raises both eyebrows. “You’ve never even properly kissed me.”

 

“And? He was a shit kisser.” He makes a disgusted face. “He used too much saliva.”

 

David mirrors his disgustion. “Thanks, Matteo. Really needed to know that.”

 

“Yeah and he always did this weird thing with his tongue -”

 

David puts his hand over Matteo’s mouth, sufficiently shutting him up. “I really  _ really  _ don’t need to know that.”

 

Matteo licks his hand like the disgusting gremlin he is and laughs when David removes his hand, even more disgusted. “Wanna know another reason to hate him?”

 

“What, besides his terrible personality, annoying face, and the fact he uses too much saliva?”

 

Matteo leans conspiratorially. “He doesn’t give head.”

 

“What the fuck?”

 

Matteo nods. 

 

“I might not be very experienced, but if we were dating and we had sex I’d give you head.”

 

“Man, that’s so sweet. If we were dating and we had sex and you were comfortable with it I’d give you head, too.”

 

Matteo said it so casually, with a laugh, but David can feel himself flush at the thought. He can’t deny and say it’s not a thought he’d entertained before, the way Matteo would feel pressed against him. What desire looks like on his face. How he’d look above him, or spread out beneath him. 

 

But Matteo was his best friend. It’s wrong to think of him like that.

 

“So,” Matteo starts. “Where do you want to go to lunch?”

 

In the end they choose a local Indian. The tables are small and Matteo’s knee brushes his every time he shifts. It’s making it difficult to concentrate on the menu.

 

“Don’t forget. My treat.”

 

David knows his grin is bashful. “Thank you.”

 

“There’s a party at Carlos and Kiki’s in two weeks and I’ve been told we have to attend.”

 

“That’s ages away, why are they telling us now?”

 

“Apparently we need the notice because we always find an excuse to not go to parties.” Matteo rolls his eyes, even though it’s true.

 

“I’d try to deny it, but yeah. We do.”

 

“God forbid I don’t want to get drunk with a bunch of strangers.”

 

There’s a natural pause in the conversation as they both decide on what to have for lunch. When it’s ordered, David addresses the topic they’ve been ignoring.

 

“How was his first day?”

 

“It was - fine.”

 

“Matteo.”

 

“He was weird,” Matteo grimaces. “He kept talking about things we did together. Dates we’d gone on, the time I met his parents.”

 

“Does he want you back?” David asks.

 

“I don’t know.” He shrugs and then smiles self deprecatingly. “Or if he just doesn’t like the idea of his ‘conquest’ belonging to someone else.”

 

David’s knuckles clench around his fork. He has to take a moment to breathe before responding. “You belong to no one, Matteo. Especially him. You’re not his conquest, and you were never his property.”

 

Matteo looks down at his plate. “I don’t think I was ever in love with him. I thought I was, because I didn’t know what love was meant to feel like. But now -” His eyes snap to meet David’s.

 

“Now?” There’s an ache in David’s chest suddenly.

 

Matteo flushes and shakes his head. “We learned about ‘symptoms of love’ or whatever in class, did I tell you?”

 

“No,” David says. “What are some?”

 

“A lot of them you’d think. Breathlessness. Racing heart. Sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach, et cetera. Desperation to be with someone. Sexual desire, sometimes. But did you know there’s scientific proof that if you’re in love you don’t feel physical pain as severely? It’s fucking wild.”

 

_ Breathlessness. _

 

He had been breathless the first time Matteo had hugged him, and every time after. Every time he wakes up next to him, legs entangled, he struggles to breathe. 

 

Every time he feels Matteo’s fingers run gently through his hair, every time Matteo accidentally brushes their knuckles together when they’re walking. 

 

_ Racing heart. _

 

The ache in his chest whenever Matteo kisses his cheek, chapped lips gentle on his skin. Whenever he drapes himself over David’s back, arms encircling David’s waist tightly. 

 

_ Butterflies in your stomach. _

 

When Matteo smiles so wide his eyes close, whenever he laughs unabashedly.  When he picks David up after a lecture with a sandwich and a cup of coffee from Blattgold, always making a comment about how black coffee is a crime against humanity.

 

God, even Matteo sending him a meme and saying 'I saw this and thought of you' - no matter how stupid the meme was - gives him butterflies in his stomach.

 

_ Desperation. _

 

It’s not normal to want to be around a friend as much as David wanted to be around Matteo, is it? No matter what Jonas said, it isn’t normal. Friends didn’t share beds, didn’t fucking  _ spoon _ , didn’t call each other sweetheart. 

 

Logically David knows it's bullshit, a double standard between men and women and an effect of toxic masculinity, but he’s hardly logical when it comes to Matteo.

 

And Christ. The stupid things he does to get Matteo’s attention are so embarrassing he doesn’t even want to think about it.

 

_ Desire. _

 

Gentle fingers tracing his ear, the strip of skin revealed when Matteo stretches. A voice scratchy with sleep. Soft hands against his neck, massaging his shoulders after a stressful day, dragging across his back on days when Matteo knows he’s been wearing his binder for too long.

 

He is one thousand percent, irrevocably and absolutely fucked.

 

He feels Matteo’s knee brush against his -  _ racing heart  _ \- and startles.

 

“Where’d you go?” Matteo smiles.

 

“Sorry, just zoned out,” David responds. “You were saying?”

 

“I don’t think I loved him,” he repeats. “I didn’t know what love was, you know? I didn’t know what love should feel like. Never been in love before. Didn’t have anything to compare it to. Even looking at the signs written on paper...yeah. Don’t think I ever felt that shit.”

 

“Good. He doesn’t deserve your love,” David nods.

 

“Good,” Matteo grins.

 

“Good,” David repeats.

 

“Are you coming back to mine?”

 

“If that’s alright.”

 

“Always.”

 

-

 

“Ready?” Matteo extends his hand.

 

“Of course.” David takes his hand. “So, how much making out are we going to have to do?”

 

“Shut up, I told you we didn’t have to.” Matteo seems embarrassed. 

 

“You don’t want to kiss your boyfriend?” David assumes a shocked expression.

 

“And if I don’t?” 

 

“Consent is important.” David nods.

 

As they enter they’re greeted with drunken cheers, Abdi loudest of them all. He makes a beeline straight towards the two, running into multiple people on his journey.

 

He reaches them and grabs David by the shoulders. “You’re so much better than Justus, David.”

 

“Am I?” David’s barely holding back a laugh. You can always tell how many Abdi has had by how free he is with compliments. This is three beers and two shots Abdi.

 

“Yeah,” he nods vigorously. “He’s hot but you’re  _ breathtaking _ , bro.”

 

Matteo gently but forcefully shoves Abdi’s hands off David’s shoulders. “Come on, man, stop hitting on my boyfriend.”

 

“You have to agree, he’s handsome.”

 

“I do agree, he’s very handsome,” Matteo laughs. “But you’re very drunk.”

 

He turns his head to Matteo so quickly he sways for a moment. The hands that were on David’s shoulders grab him by the face. “You’re handsome, too, oh, man, Matteo.” He leans in so close he has to go cross eyed to make eye contact with Matteo. “I’m so proud of you, man. You were like. A plastic bag drifting through the wind. Now you’re not.”

 

“Did you just quote Katy Perry at me? I mean, thanks I guess, but Katy Perry? I thought I was the gay one.”

 

“Katy Perry is overrated and homophobic.” And that’s Jonas, coming to their rescue. “Come on, dude, I’m sure there are other people you can compliment.”

 

He drags Abdi away before he can say anything else, but not before he can smack a kiss to Matteo’s forehead. They can hear him yell, “Jonas, I’m not gay but you are so thick it’s incredible.”

 

They watch them fondly for a moment, before Matteo turns to David.

 

“He was right,” he says matter of factly.

 

“About Jonas’ being thick, or about you being a plastic bag?” David laughs.

 

“I mean, Jonas  _ is  _ thick. I can’t say if I was like a plastic bag, but I can say you are breathtaking.”

 

“Fuck off,” he responds to hide his blush.

 

“I promised my boyfriend a dance, actually.”

 

“Oh? You should go find him, then.”

 

“Shut up,” Matteo says, starting towards the makeshift dance floor. He’s interrupted by Kiki, who’s grinning widely at them.

 

“I can’t help but see you aren’t fitting the theme.”

 

David laughs but takes the neon face paint she’s offering. 

 

“Aren’t you going to put it on me?” Matteo smirks at him.

 

“Your laziness knows no bounds.”

 

“I’ll do you if you do me,” Matteo leers.

 

“Is that a promise?”

 

Kiki coughs. She’s still smiling widely at them, but it’s obvious she’s waiting for them to finish. With gentle fingers David wipes a stripe of pink to each of Matteo’s cheeks, followed by a streak of yellow. Matteo does the same for him, grinning stupidly when he’s finished. 

 

“Perfect.”

 

“Perfect,” David echoes softly.

 

Kiki coughs again and takes back the paint with a nod.

 

“Now that we’re on theme, shall we dance?” David bows, holding his hand out.

 

“Hmm, I have to go find my boyfriend.” Matteo pretends to think. “But I suppose since he’s not here, you can have the first dance.”

 

David just rolls his eyes and tries to drag him towards the dance floor, but they’re interrupted again _ ,  _ this time by Amira and a giggling Sam. She kisses both of them on the cheek, before staring pointedly at their joined hands.

 

“Now, Matteo,” she starts after making eye contact with David for a moment. “Repeat after me. ‘I will not leave the party to have sex with my boyfriend’.”

 

Matteo rolls his eyes, but repeats what Amira said. David coughs to hide a snicker. Matteo sighs in his direction. “Guess we’ll just have to stay here and do it.”

 

David hits him. “No sex in front of our friends.”

 

Matteo groans. “I’m being oppressed.”  

 

“Good.”

 

“You’re fucking cute together,” Sam giggles. “I mean, not much has changed, but now you’re holding hands and kissing and fucking and it’s nice.”

 

“Okay, Sam,” Amira says. “Let’s leave them to dance.”

 

They make it to the dance floor without another interruption.

 

“This seems very familiar.”

 

“Well, my boyfriend did promise me a dance.”

 

Before they can begin, David feels an arm land heavily around his shoulders. “Hey, dudes.”

 

“Hello, Carlos,” Matteo sighs.

 

“I wanted to say.” He pauses, trying to find the right words in his drunken haze. “I don’t want you to feel, like, uncomfortable.”

 

“With what?” David laughs slightly.

 

“With kissing or whatever in front of us. Because you’ve been together over a month and we haven’t seen you really kiss or whatever.”

 

“Maybe we don’t want to kiss in front of you,” Matteo smirks.

 

“I mean that’s totally okay,” Carlos nods emphatically. “But I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t because you thought we’d be uncomfortable with it.”

 

“Come on, Carlos. You’re drunk.” There’s Jonas, coming to their rescue once more.

 

Carlos whines. “I just don’t want them to think we’re homophobic, Jonas.”

 

“Be extra stupid and shitty if you were homophobic, considering you’re pansexual,” Jonas laughs, rolling his eyes.

 

“Jonas, queer people can be homophobic, too.” He sounds offended.

 

“I know, dude,” Jonas laughs again. “Let’s go find Kiki.”

 

“Kiki!” His face lights up. “Man, I love Kiki.” He pauses. “Bro...do think she’d move in with me if I asked her?”

 

“Believe it or not, I think she would,” Jonas nods with another eye roll. He doesn’t mention that the party is being held in Carlos and Kiki’s flat.

 

“Dude, I have to go find her and ask her!” Carlos drags Jonas away.

 

“He’s such an idiot,” Matteo sighs as they leave.

 

“He means well.” 

 

Matteo turns to him. “Still an idiot.” 

 

“We have to make out, don’t we,” David says. “Or else Carlos will think he’s homophobic.”

 

Matteo giggles. “Let’s dance and work up to it.”

 

“Do you want a drink?” David asks. He’d forgotten in their haste to get to the dance floor that most people are holding cups full of alcohol.

 

“Not really. You?” 

 

David shrugs. “Not really.” 

 

“Then shall we dance?” 

 

It’s similar to the first time, almost a month ago. Matteo’s arms are tight around David’s waist, David’s own on his shoulders. The sway gently for a moment, finding a rhythm together. Neither are drinking, but to David it’s intoxicating enough just to feel Matteo against him.

 

The kiss starts out soft, contrasting with the hot press of their bodies. David is sure there’s not a part of their bodies that  _ isn’t  _ touching; Matteo’s hand moves to tangle in his hair, a searing path from his waist to the back of his neck. 

 

David shudders at the first press of Matteo’s tongue. He thought he’d never kiss him, never feel him pressed against him. They kiss for a moment, David slowly become familiar with the taste of him.

 

This kiss, no matter how unauthentic it is, deserves to be described through metaphors David isn’t poetic enough to create. Comparisons to windstorms, earthquakes, sunrises. Matteo’s mouth deserves sonnets - sonnets he can’t provide. The hand buried in his hair a tether, the arm around his waist a brand. 

 

It’s a show, played out in front of dozens of drunk partygoers, but in that moment they’re the only two in the room. 

 

Matteo pulls away suddenly, gasping for breath. His lips are swollen, eyes blown. David knows he’ll never forget how Matteo looks in this moment. But then he steps back, David’s arms falling bereft to his sides.

 

“I can’t do this, David.” His voice is shaky. “I’m so sorry. I can’t do this to you.”

 

He turns sharply, and walks as quickly as he can without running, pushing past dancing bodies. David is helpless but to watch him go.

 

_ I can’t do this, David. I’m so sorry. I can’t do this to you. _

 

_ I can’t do this, David. I’m so sorry. I can’t do this to you. _

 

_ I can’t do this, David. I’m so sorry. I can’t do this to you. _

 

_ I’m so sorry.  _

 

_ I can’t do this to you. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to upload this chapter in two parts (which is why it's a bit short).
> 
> Warning for depictions of a panic attack.

He stumbles out of the flat, making it only a block before he falls to his knees. 

 

_Breathlessness._

 

The panic in his chest has a vice grip on his lungs. His breath quickens, a beat faster for every step Matteo had taken away from him.

 

_Racing heart._

 

There’s a pounding in his ears, as though his heart is beating so viciously he can hear it. He clutches at his heaving chest. What if Matteo never comes back to him? What if this stupid act is the end?

 

_Desperation._

 

He’s desperate to follow him, but he feels glued to the pavement. Desperate to be with him, even though he isn’t sure he has the strength to handle another rejection tonight.

 

_I can’t do this, David. I’m so sorry. I can’t do this to you._

 

Matteo knows how David feels, he has to know. _I can’t do this to you._

 

“Breathe, David. In and out. Follow my breathing.”

 

Through the haze he can recognize Amira, can feel her hand on his shoulder.

 

“In -”

 

He gasps a breath.

 

“- and out.”

 

He releases.

 

“Good, now again.”

 

For ten minutes she kneels next to him in the dark, coaching him through his breathing.

 

“Are you here?” she says softly. “You with me?”

 

“Yeah.” He shudders a breath. “I’m with you.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“We kissed.” He could still feel Matteo’s mouth on his. “And then he ran off. He ran off and said -”

 

“What did he say?” Amira prompts after his pause lasted a beat too long.

 

“He said he was sorry, but he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do this to me. And then he left.”

 

“Oh, David.” It isn’t pity in her voice, but he’s not sure exactly what it is. 

 

“He knows, he has to know how I feel. He’s going to leave me, Amira. He did this because he felt sorry for me.”

 

“Are you sure that’s what he meant?”

 

“What else could he have meant by that? He didn’t want to hurt me, so he left.”

 

“David, you don’t have -”

 

“I was pressuring him, wasn’t I? I was letting my stupid - crush pressure him into being with me.”

 

“He asked you to do this.”

 

“I said it first, it was my idea.” He laughs sharply, no humour in his voice. “He didn’t know I was in love with him, did he?”

 

“David -” she tries again.

 

“I have to go,” he interrupts. He can’t listen to her say ‘I told you so’; he knows he fucked up, he doesn’t need her reminding him.

 

-

 

The walk home is painful. His thoughts haven’t stopped racing, and with each step he can’t help but let them wander. Past the disaster of tonight, back farther. 

 

Their friendship wasn’t instantaneous.

 

At first, it was Jonas’ friend from class and Jonas’ best friend, smiling at each other in a coffee shop, maybe tossing a quip back and forth, teasing Jonas. David quickly falling for a smile that was only occasionally directed towards him.

 

Then they were David and Matteo and all of Matteo’s friends, and he suddenly had a dozen new contacts in his mobile.

 

But inevitably they became David-and-Matteo. 

 

He and Justus had already been dating for a month before David even met Matteo. He was still happy in his relationship then, still smiled when Justus texted him. Over time that happiness faded, and his walls slowly began to form.

 

When he was with Justus, he’d been hesitant with his touches; Justus had felt threatened by their friendship, and tried his best to keep them apart. But then they broke up, and suddenly it was different. Suddenly Matteo wasn’t scared to hug him, or curl up next to him on the sofa, or fall asleep in his arms. 

 

They’d only been _them_ for a few months. David had only been honest with himself for a few months.

 

There were words he’d been scared to utter, not even to himself. Words like love. Words like forever. He couldn’t explain - no, he wouldn’t _let_ himself explain. He’s always known exactly why his heart flutters every time they brush hands. Exactly why his eyes stray to Matteo’s mouth whenever he bites his lip in concentration. Why waking up next to him, tangled together, made his chest ache. 

 

The way his heart feels as though it’s very nearly going to burst out of his chest every time they hug. The stuttering of breath whenever Matteo directs that smile towards him. Each dream he had, each fantasy explored, always in his head. Only in his head.

 

He could spend every waking moment - each moment spent sleeping - with Matteo and still wish they’d be closer.

 

And then he’d gone and fucked it all up.

 

The next few days are hard. Matteo doesn’t try to contact him, and Laura tries to convey her sympathy through cups of tea and warm hugs. She tries to talk to him a few times, but he can’t gather the energy to say anything more than ‘I’m fine’.

 

He goes to class, he comes home. He eats, he showers, he makes an attempt at sleep. He tries to distract himself, but every time he opens his sketchbook he sees Matteo in every page. After awhile, he doesn’t even try.

 

What’s the point in trying?

 

-

 

He shivers when the wind blows; Matteo never gave him back his beanie after he’d lent it to him weeks ago, and he’s feeling its absence.

 

He shakes his head. He’s at this cafe to meet with Mia, not think about Matteo. He’s had five days of thinking about Matteo, five days of radio silence and tears he’ll deny shedding. But Thursdays. Thursdays were for studying with Mia. 

 

She’s a good study partner, even if they didn’t share classes, and it’s a distraction he needs right now.

 

“I feel bad, in hindsight,” Mia sighs, turning a page idly. 

 

David furrows his brow. “About?”

 

She sighs again. “The way we kept introducing Matteo to other people.”

 

“Why?” He caps his pen. This sounds like a conversation that would need his entire attention, even if he’s confused as to what she means.

 

“I guess…” she says. “I think we were afraid.”

 

“Of?” David’s lost.

 

She fidgets with her pen. “You as a friend were helping him so much, but I know from personal experience, it's not something you can just - get over.” Her breath is shaky as she inhales. “Three months really isn’t that long of a time. We didn’t - know if he was emotionally ready for another relationship, and even though it was obvious he was in love with you, or at least cared for you deeply...we didn’t want you to get together, break up, and then ruin what you had.”

 

David closes his eyes and takes a deep breath through his nose. “So you made that decision for him?”

 

“We didn’t want you to be hurt,” she tries to explain. “Either of you.”

 

“You took away a chance of happiness - for _both_ of us - just because you thought I’d abandon him if he decided it was too much?” His knuckles have gone tight around his pen.

 

“That’s not what we wanted to do.”

 

“That decision wasn’t yours to make, Mia,” he snaps.

 

“I know. And I’m sorry.” She sounds genuinely sorry, but David’s not in a forgiving mood.

 

“It’s not me you need to apologise to,” he says through gritted teeth.

 

“It affected you as well.”

 

David takes another deep breath. “Did you know, he told me once that he didn’t feel like he could make his own choices when he was with Justus. Like he was a child that needed guidance. So he just let Justus tell him who to see, where to go. And now matter how well intended it was, you were doing the same.”

 

“David -”

 

“It doesn’t matter what your intentions were. You still took away his choice.” David stands up and begins to gather his things, shoving books into his backpack forcefully. “Matteo deserves all the happiness in the world, alright? And even if we don’t last, I would never - _never_ \- abandon him.”

 

“I know -”

 

He slams a book down. “You obviously don’t. If you did, you wouldn’t have done it.”

 

She tries to speak again, but David shakes his head.

 

“I have to go. I don’t want to yell at you, but I can’t be in the same room as you right now.”

 

He leaves, managing to not slam the door to the cafe behind him. After a few steps he pauses and pulls out his phone.

 

 **[David 16:18]** You’re not bad friends. You guys can still fix this.

 

Her reply is quick.

 

 **[Mia 16:18]** We’ll talk to him.

 

He pockets his phone without replying.

 

-

 

He’s trying to sleep, but Mia’s words are ringing in his ears. 

 

_It was obvious he was in love with you, or at least cared for you deeply._

 

He thinks back to a month ago, to the beginning of this act, back to that night in Matteo’s room with Amira and Jonas. Matteo had been grumbling about how sick he was of their friends trying to set him up with people. 

 

“Apparently they think I need to get over him,” he’d said.

 

David had been confused, rightfully thinking Matteo had already gotten over Justus. Thinking back to Mia’s words, though, made him look at that interaction through a different lens.

 

Every one of their interactions through a different lens.

 

All this time, could he have been reading it incorrectly? This one sided love he’d been clinging to for a year, possibly not as unrequited as he’d first thought.

 

Amira’s worries about them getting hurt, not only in regards to his feelings, but Matteo’s as well. Each time Matteo had “accidentally” called him _amore mio_ or _la mia vita,_ every time David had looked at Matteo only to find Matteo already looking back at him. Was the way he flushed and looked down not embarrassment at being caught not paying attention, but shy affection? 

 

He rolls over.

 

Everything looked different through this new keyhole.

 

The hugs, the clothes sharing, the soft smiles.

 

_I can’t do this, David. I’m so sorry. I can’t do this to you._

 

Could it - could he have this? A happiness he never thought he’d get, never thought he’d deserve.

 

He closes his eyes, fighting a small grin.

 

_Maybe._

 

-

 

_“No, stronzino!” Matteo laughs. He grabs the knife carefully from David’s hand. “It’s not that hard to chop onions! You’re going to cut your fingers off.”_

 

_“Well, sorry if I didn’t have an Italian grandmother to teach me how to chop onions.”_

 

_He giggles slightly. “Or boil an egg, or turn on an oven, or peel potatoes, or how to warm up canned soup, or -”_

 

_David shoves a hand against his cheek. “I get it, I’m useless in the kitchen.”_

 

_“You’re good at other things, don’t worry.”_

 

_“Like what?” David crosses his arms._

 

_“Well,” he starts, dragging out the word. “You’re good at riding a bike, you can change your pillowcase by yourself, you’re super great at watering houseplants...many things.”_

 

_“But not cutting an onion.”_

 

_“You’re going to cut your fingers off!” he repeats._

 

_“You do it, then,” he says, dropping the knife and walking across the kitchen. He leans against the counter, content to watch Matteo. Always content to watch Matteo._

 

_“I have to do everything, I guess.”_

 

_“It was your idea to make a proper meal. I just wanted pizza.”_

 

_Matteo points the knife at him. “We had pizza last night. Real food tonight.”_

 

_“Fiiiiine. But you’re a student, you should want pizza.”_

  


_Matteo shrugs. He’s swaying gently to the music playing from David’s phone, turning his attention back to the chopping board. He’s at home in the kitchen in a way he isn’t most other places. “It’s comforting sometimes.”_

 

_“That’s good, then,” David replies with a fond smile. “And you know I can always eat.”_

 

_“Each day you‘d rise with me,” he sings under his breath in lieu of a response. “Know that I would gladly be...the Icarus to your certainty.” He turns to smile at David, still singing gently. “Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight…”_

 

_“Your voice isn’t half bad.”_

 

_“I used to sing in the church choir when I was younger,” he says with a laugh. “Impressive, I know.”_

 

_“Did you have fun, though?”_

 

_“Not as much fun as you’re going to have cutting these onions!” he responds smugly._

 

_“I don’t know how!”_

 

_Matteo rolls his eyes. “Let me show you, then.”_

 

_David carefully takes the knife back from him. “Then teach me, signore.”_

 

_“Yeah, yeah.” Matteo rolls his eyes again. His cheeks are red and the shirt he’s wearing hangs loose over his collarbone; he looks messy but happy. David’s sure he’s never seen anything more beautiful. “Do you want me to do it like we’re in a romantic comedy?”_

 

_“Do I want to know what you mean by that?” David asks cautiously. He turns back to the onion._

 

_“Like we’re in a romantic comedy. I come around behind you, and put my hand over yours on the knife to guide you. Like this.”_

 

_He shimmies up to David, waggling his eyebrows. He’s trying to be funny, but David can feel himself flush when Matteo’s arms wrap around him, hand over his on the knife._

 

_Matteo’s breath is hot on his neck, making it difficult to focus on the onion._

 

_“Curve your fingers, babe,” Matteo instructs. “Can’t draw if you don’t have fingers.”_

 

_David adjusts slightly. “Is this okay?”_

 

_“Yes, surprisingly.” He nuzzles David’s neck gently. “You’re not going to win any awards, though.”_

 

_“I can’t concentrate when you do that,” David whines._

 

_“I’ll finish, then, if you can’t concentrate.” He can feel Matteo’s grin against his skin. “Thank you for your help, cuore mio.”_

 

_David’s eyes widen and he knows his cheeks are flushed._

 

_Matteo does a double take. “Are you blushing?”_

 

_“What, no.”_

 

_“I think you’re blushing,” he smirks._

 

_“And if I was?” David tilts his head. “What then?”_

 

_Matteo closes the small distance between them, and trails a finger down his cheek. “I love it when you blush.”_

 

_“Oh, you do?”_

 

_Matteo presses him against the counter. “Very much.”_

 

_“I like that I can make you blush,” Matteo whispers, then begins to trail kisses down his neck. Any attempt at composure is immediately lost. He arches his back slightly, trying to get as close to Matteo as possible._

 

_David shudders against him, trying to keep his composure. “Prove it.”_

 

_“Cuore mio.” His lips are firm, betraying his soft tone; David shivers as teeth nip gently at his collarbone. A hand has found its way underneath his shirt, nails scraping his lower back. “La mia anima…”_

 

_“Wait, wait.” He interrupts Matteo’s apologies with a kiss, not wanting him to think he’d done anything wrong. “We’re in the kitchen.”_

 

_Matteo hums thoughtfully. “Linn is out of town, Mia is at Hanna’s, Hans made sure to remind us he won’t be back until morning…we have an hour before anything is ready to eat…” He shrugs._

 

_David drags him in for another searing kiss. He pulls away with a self satisfied laugh and continues his journey across David’s collarbone. One hand moves to the band of his joggers, tugging gently, silently asking for permission. At David’s frantic nod, he pulls away completely._

 

_Before David can drag him back in, he drops to his knees._

 

He wakes up gasping, sticky with sweat, alarm blaring. A morning similar to most. He waits for the usual shame to fill his chest, but finds it doesn’t come. Instead there’s something akin to hope. 

 

_It was obvious he was in love with you, or at least cared for you deeply._

 

He feels himself grin slightly.

 

_Maybe._

 

Somehow he makes it through two classes. He doesn’t think he comprehended any of what was said by his professors, but the margins of his notebook are covered in doodles. Matteo’s eyes, Matteo’s lips. A crooked grin. He leaves his last lecture with a sigh.

 

“Coffee? I still don’t know how you drink it black, but even you aren't perfect I guess.”

 

He glances up sharply at the voice, coming face to face with the same crooked grin that decorated his notebook.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, folks! It's only 2k ish because it's the second part of chapter 4, technically! (it gets a bit nsfw, just in warning)

“Coffee?” Matteo holds up the cup with a crooked grin. “I still don’t know how you drink it black, but even you aren't perfect I guess.”

 

Matteo looks tired, the dark circles under his eyes even more pronounced than usual. He’s wearing David’s beanie and he has a scarf wrapped tightly around his neck. The relief that blooms in David’s chest at seeing him after a week apart nearly knocks him over.

 

“That’s my hat you’re wearing, Florenzi,” David says instead of admitting he’d been lost without Matteo. It’d only been a week, Christ.

 

“You’re not wearing it.” He hands David his coffee. “Free real estate, dude.”

 

He pouts. “And my ears are cold because of it.”

 

Matteo laughs and gestures vaguely behind him. “Walk with me?”

 

“Of course.”

 

They walk for awhile, not talking, heading towards a nearby park. David’s warming his fingers on his cup and notices Matteo fidgeting with his hands, like he’s nervous.

 

“I thought you were mad at me,” he admits softly.

 

David furrows his brow, confused. “What?”

 

Matteo nods. “You didn’t text me all week. I thought you wouldn’t want to see me today.”

 

David stops walking. “I was waiting for you to text me. I thought _you_ were mad at _me._ ” 

 

“Oh,” Matteo says. He furrows his brow to match David’s.

 

“I, um.” He rubs the back of his neck, beginning to walk again. “Thought you were going to hate me forever.” 

 

“I could never hate you _,”_ he says vehemently. “ _Never._ ”

 

“I could never hate you either,” David responds just as firmly.

 

They share a small grin.

 

“We’re dumbasses, huh?” Matteo sighs.

 

David laughs. “Yeah. We are.”

 

They’ve reached the river, and sit down on a bench near the water.

 

“I had an interesting talk with Mia and Hanna last night.”

 

“Oh?” David knows where this conversation is headed, and brushes their shoulders together slightly.

 

“They pretty much...cornered me in my room, intervention style, to apologise for something I didn’t even realise they’d done.”

 

David hums to show he’s listening.

 

“Apparently,” he says, drawing out the word. “They’d been keeping me from telling you how I felt because they didn’t want us to get hurt.”

 

“How’d you take that?”

 

“I yelled.” He scratches his head. “But my therapist would be proud, I didn’t throw or break anything.”

 

“I’m proud of you.”

 

He scratches his head again. “Amira was there and she, uh.”

 

“Did she rip them to pieces?”

 

“God, yeah.” His grin is bright in spite of the conversation. “It was incredible.”

 

“She can be terrifying.”

 

“It’s a good thing she likes me.”

 

“She loves you a lot, you know.”

 

Matteo’s grin turns bashful. “I know. I love her, too.”

 

“Have you told her that?”

 

“Not nearly enough,” he sighs.

 

“You should.”

 

“I should,” he agrees.

 

“Besides yelling, how’d you take it?” David prompts.

 

“I saw where they were coming from, don’t get me wrong.” He shakes his head. “But it was a shitty fucking thing to do.”

 

David shuffles closer to him, shoulders pressed more firmly together. “It was. You’re allowed to be upset about it.”

 

“Mia said she talked to you.”

 

“She did,” David nods.

 

“How’d you take it?”

 

“I almost broke my pen and had to leave our study date before I’d even started to study.” He laughs. “Slammed a book or two.”

 

Matteo hums. “Sorry Amira wasn’t there to fight for you.”

 

“I’m glad she was there to be your knight in shining armour, though,” David grins.

 

Matteo shoves him slightly, and hums again.

 

“I told you once that I didn’t think I loved Justus.”

 

“You did.” David doesn’t question the change in subject.

 

“I said that it was because of something we learned in class, do you remember?”

 

“Hm.” How could he forget. “The ‘symptoms of love’.”

 

Matteo nods.  “It wasn’t a total lie, I didn’t feel any of those things for him. But -” He pauses. “That’s not the whole truth.”

 

“And what’s the whole truth?” There’s an anticipation in David’s chest that’s almost all encompassing.

 

“You see…there’s this guy.” He scrunches his face in thought. “He has dark hair, and a killer resting bitch face. People think he’s so cool because he likes indie films with subtitles, but he’s an idiot. He’s kind, funny...can’t chop an onion to save his life. He also likes his coffee black, the heathen, but he’s cute so I can forgive that. We’ve been friends for like a year, but I didn’t realise that I felt something for him because I didn’t know what love was meant to feel like.” He pauses to laugh slightly. “Who knew love was meant to make you feel good, huh?”

 

David says fuck it to his fear and reaches to grab his hand, interlacing their fingers. “You deserve to always feel good.”

 

“I feel good when I’m with him,” he replies, smiling at their hands. “Understood. Like I can refer to him in third person because he knows that I’m ‘bad at processing my emotions’ sometimes.”

 

David tries to stifle a grin and squints across the water. 

 

“So, there’s this guy,” he starts, resting his head on Matteo’s shoulder. “He’s an absolute moron. A bit messy, but smarter than people give him credit for. He loves his friends so much it makes me ache sometimes. I told him once that my favourite colour was green because I couldn’t describe the blue of his eyes well enough to tell him what my real favourite colour is. He adds _way_ too much sugar to his coffee, and I haven’t found it in myself to forgive him for that. But, looking past that glaring flaw, he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve been in love with him for almost a year.”

 

Matteo presses a gentle kiss to his head. David pulls back to face him fully.

 

“So this guy -” Matteo whispers. “Do you think he loves you back?”

 

“For a while, I thought there was no way. I was so focused on my own unrequited feelings I didn’t really stop and think if they _were_ mutual. But now…” He smiles softly. “I think so. What about you? Does your guy love you back?”

 

Matteo’s lips are soft.

 

They’ve kissed before, but this. This is a kiss. David feels Matteo’s smile spread against his mouth, and is helpless but to match it.

 

-

 

They spend all day in the park; even with the chill in the air, David isn’t sure he’s had a better day.

 

“Is it weird that it doesn’t feel like anything has changed?” Matteo asks, dragging his thumb along David’s jaw.

 

“I mean, I’m pretty sure we’ve been dating for months.” David turns his head and places a gentle kiss to his palm.

 

“God, you’re right.” Matteo shakes his head. “We’re fucking stupid.” 

 

“Speak for yourself, Florenzi, I happen to be very intelligent.” 

 

“Why are you with me, then?” Matteo raises a brow in question.

 

“Oh, are we together then?”

 

“Well -” Matteo kicks at a rock on the pavement. “Usually when you confess your love to someone, and kiss them in public, and spend all day holding hands...usually you’re together. And besides, we’ve been dating for over a month, you know.”

 

“Fine,” David responds, dragging out the word. “I guess we’re together.”

 

Matteo’s smile is cheesy but genuine. “Nice.”

 

“Nice?”

 

“Very nice.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

After a moment or two of smiling stupidly at each other, Matteo nudges him gently. “You know...Linn’s out of town, and Mia barely even lives there anymore, and it’s Friday so Hans won’t be in...flatshare is empty, if you want to come back to mine.”

 

“Oh?” David ignores the fluttering in his chest. “Do you have plans, then? I’ll have you know I am a virtuous gentleman.”

 

“I’m sure I can fix that,” Matteo nods.

 

“Yeah? Prove it,” David smirks.

 

“We’re in public!” Matteo gasps, holding a hand to his heart. “What about _my_ virtue?”

 

“I have deems on your virtue, as well.”

 

Matteo pulls him in for a kiss. “Shall we, then?”

 

“I guess we shall.”

 

-

 

“I’m nervous,” Matteo admits.

 

David feels a laugh escape. “Me, too.”

 

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Matteo says softly.

 

“You won’t.”

 

“How do you know that?” He grabs both of David’s hands gently.

 

“Because I’ll tell you to stop if you do.”

 

“I love you. I know I keep saying it, but I’ve felt this way for so long -”

 

David interrupts him with a kiss. “I know. I love you, too.”

 

“I’ve dreamt of this,” Matteo says, looking down at their hands.

 

“I’ve dreamt of this, too.”

 

Matteo stares at him for a moment before pulling him in for another kiss. It’s more urgent now, leading to something more than just soft declarations of love.

 

“May I?” Matteo whispers with a gentle tug on his shirt. At David’s nod Matteo kisses him again, pulling away to tug his shirt over his head. Soft fingers, warm against his bare skin. Trailing up and down his sides, gently teasing. David reaches for him, fingers grasping his hair.

 

Matteo pulls back with a gasp. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and it’s your choice, but should you be wearing your binder?”

 

David pulls away just far enough to tug his binder over his head. He’s still amazed at how comfortable he’s become; he doesn’t trust easily, and the fact that he’s fine being so bare in front of Matteo is huge.

 

Matteo’s gives him a soft smile like he _knows_ as he reaches to pull off his own shirt.

 

Skin touches skin, and suddenly it’s hard to breathe.

 

_Breathlessness._

 

David inhales sharply when Matteo’s nails drag across his lower back, gasping into the kiss. His chest rises and falls with rapid breaths, the way Matteo’s fingers dip past the waistband of his joggers stealing all breath from his lungs.

 

_Racing heart._

 

His heart is pounding in his chest, and he’s dizzy with it; dizzy with pleasure, dizzy with the knowledge that Matteo wants him back, has dreamt of this as many times as he has. Dizzy at the feeling of Matteo’s teeth on his neck, dizzy at the feeling of Matteo’s hands on his bare skin. 

 

“You look beautiful like this,” Matteo whispers, pressing David into the mattress. His words are tender, honest; David’s on fire, burning from the inside.

 

_Desperation._

 

Matteo trails kisses across his stomach slowly, seemingly content to take his time. David’s speaking, words coming together rapidly, closer to begging than he cares to admit. 

 

“Stop teasing.”

 

Matteo presses a smirk to a quivering thigh. “Stop liking it, then.”

 

“Why are you so smug? I thought you were nervous.”

 

Matteo pulls away and smiles up at him. “Can’t I be nervous _and_ smug?”

 

“You’ve never done this before, what if you’re bad at it?” David knows he won’t be bad at it. Of course he won’t be.

 

“I’m a quick learner when I put my mind to it. I won’t be bad at it.”

 

It doesn’t take him long to grasp; his mouth and tongue relentless. David knows the arching of his back and the moans he can’t bite back are proof enough, but he still gasps out a confirmation. He’s not sure he’s ever felt pleasure like this.

 

Matteo doesn’t pull away until David drags him up for a kiss, legs shaking. Matteo’s pupils are blown, and David can taste himself on Matteo’s tongue.

 

He’s still panting, fighting to catch his breath, but he gathers his strength and flips them easily.

 

“I’ve always dreamt of how you’d look under me.” He presses a biting kiss to Matteo’s mouth.

 

“Is it as good as you dreamt, then?” 

 

“I’d make a joke, but I think my brain has short circuited - get that smirk off your face - so all I can say is, it’s better than I ever dreamed.”

 

“Good.”

 

“I want to make you feel good, yeah?”

 

Matteo’s sensitive, trembling as David moves his way across his chest; he shudders when David’s teeth nip gently at his nipple, when his nails scrape against his thighs.

 

"I'll make you feel good, baby."

 

-

 

David wakes suddenly, an elbow in his back.

 

“David.”

 

He just grunts in response.

 

“David.” Matteo begins tugging on his ear. “David.”

 

David groans. “Ugh, what?”

 

“I love you.” Even with his eyes closed, David can tell Matteo's grin is shit eating.

 

“I love you, too."

 

Matteo rolls him over with a hand on his shoulder, grinning down at him. “Hi.”

 

“You’re meant to be the lazy stoner, why are you awake so early.”

 

“It’s almost noon,” Matteo laughs. He’s happy this morning, and a warmth grows in David’s chest.

 

David just groans again. “Can’t you enjoy the afterglow?”

 

“Is it afterglow if it’s more than twelve hours later?” Matteo taps his chin thoughtfully.

 

“Guess we’ll just have to give ourselves another opportunity for afterglow.”

 

“Mr. Schreibner,” Matteo fake gasps. “I’ll have you know I am a chaste and virtuous gentleman.”

 

“Mr. Florenzi, I can personally attest to and take credit for your lack of virtue and chastity.”

 

“Well, if you insist,” Matteo smirks.

 

“I do,” he responds and leans up to kiss him.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just 2k of fluff and Jonas/Amira/Matteo/David goodness! A little nsfw, nothing too explicit

“Why do I let you in my kitchen?” Matteo sighs. “You just get in the way. Stop eating raw dough.”

 

“Everyone needs an appetizer before their meal.” David wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “I’m your appetizer.”

 

Matteo stares at the ceiling as if he’s waiting for God to strike him down. “I hate that you just said that.”

 

“I’m blaming your influence,” David shrugs, grabbing another bit of dough.

 

“Fair enough,” Matteo chuckles.

 

David pushes off the counter and presses himself against Matteo’s back. There’s a small protest that he ignores, hooking his chin over Matteo’s shoulder to look down at his hands.

 

“God,” David groans after a moment of watching him. “Watching you knead dough used to drive me fucking crazy.”

 

“Used to?” Matteo laughs. “Are you saying my hands don’t do it for you anymore?”

 

“Well, I went mad because I couldn’t do this.” He begins to trail gentle kisses up Matteo’s neck.

 

Matteo gasps before shaking his head and letting out a small whine. “I can’t concentrate when you do that.”

 

“You’re the one who decided to make bread.”

 

“You know I make bread when I’m happy,” Matteo says softly, pausing to smile at David.

 

David grins widely. “Do I make you bread making happy, then?”

 

Matteo huffs out a laugh. “I can’t remember a time when I was this happy.”

 

“So, bread.”

 

“Bread.”

 

They grin stupidly at each other for a second before Matteo turns back to his task.

 

“You know…” he says when he’s finished and the dough is rising. “We’ll have a good couple hours before this is done…”

 

David drags him towards the bedroom, planning to show him exactly how he still drives David crazy.

 

He takes him apart slowly, sucking bruises to Matteo’s hips that he’d know are there even when they’ve been covered up. 

 

“Better than making bread?” he grins cheekily after, tapping Matteo’s nose.

 

“Hm. Maybe.” Matteo is gasping, betraying his casual words.

 

David grabs him round the waist, tickling his sides. He shouts and feigns at squirming away; David is over him again now, pressing him against the mattress.

 

Underneath him, Matteo smiles breathlessly. How many times had they been in this same position? How many times had David looked down at a panting, red faced Matteo and chalked it all up to exertion?

 

“What’s that smirk for, Schreibner?”

 

“You like this,” David says slowly. “The play fighting. I used to blame it on the fact you’ve never exercised in your life - but it got you all hot and bothered, didn’t it?”

 

“In my defense,” Matteo starts. “You’re really hot and I like being pinned down by you.”

 

David’s smirk grows. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

“You’re insatiable,” Matteo sighs, trying to sound put upon.

 

“Big word.”

 

“Get off me, you bastard,” Matteo groans.

 

“I have it on good authority that you like being pinned down by me.”

 

“Maybe, maybe not.” Matteo sticks out his tongue. “Doesn’t make up for the fact that you’re insatiable and an ass.”

 

“In my defense,” David mocks. “I’m a twenty year old man on testosterone with a super hot boyfriend.”

 

“I always forget testosterone gets you extra excited,” Matteo snickers.

 

David groans, throwing himself down next to Matteo. “It’s so bad.”

 

“Doesn’t help that you have a super sexy boyfriend.”

 

“Don’t make fun of me,” David whines.

 

“Oh, so the greasy hair and baggy sweaters really do it for you, huh?” Matteo shuffles so he can smile down at him. “My Italian wiles finally working?”

 

“Don’t mention the Italian,” David says, shoving his face away. “Do you remember that time I had to physically leave the room when you called me  _ cuore mio _ ?”

 

Matteo draws his eyebrows together. “Wait, what? Also, that pronunciation was terrible.”

 

“Did you not know?” David sits up. “Really?”

 

“No, I really didn’t.” His nose is scrunched up in his confusion, and David gives in to the temptation of kissing it, because he can now.

 

“I used to laugh at people that got horny for accents and foreign languages and shit, but every time you speak Italian my brain short circuits.”

 

“Did you know what _ cuore mio  _ meant when I said it?” He’s laughing like he can’t quite fathom why David would think his Italian is attractive.

 

“It took me a moment to figure out how to spell it, but I looked it up.” His own laugh is self deprecating. “I had to set my phone down and stare at the wall for a minute or five.”

 

Matteo takes a minute to process this, a small smirk on his face.

 

“Do you want to take a shower?” He’s already standing before David answers.

 

“Sure.”

 

“Save time and water if we share!” Matteo grins.

 

David sends him a look. “Oh, yeah, because that always works out.”

 

“How many people have you been sharing showers with, Schreibner?”

 

“Just you,” he admits with a small laugh. “I’ve - never. With anyone. Just you. I trust you.”

 

Matteo pauses, hand extended to unlock the door. “David?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I’d do anything for you,” he whispers. “You have - all of me. Absolutely all of me.”

 

“I know. You have all of me, too.”

 

He’s pressed gently against the bedroom door, Italian endearments soft against his neck, pressed against his stomach, whispered against his thighs. He grasps at the doorknob, the hooks behind his head, before burying both hands in messy blond hair.

 

Matteo stares up at him, mouth red, and the look in his eyes knocks any remaining breath from David’s lungs. 

 

He looks awestruck, astonishment in his wide eyes. Like David is something to be worshipped, an ancient god who’s worthy of Matteo’s reverence. Like David’s pleasure is something to be in awe of. 

 

-

 

“Well, well, well…” At Jonas’ voice David startles so much he rolls off of Matteo completely, landing on the floor.

 

“Are we interrupting something?” Amira smirks, following Jonas into the room. Her gaze is calculating as it scans the living room, taking in Matteo’s flushed cheeks and rucked up shirt.

 

“How’d you get in?” David groans from the floor.

 

“Jonas has a spare key that is meant to be used for emergencies only,” Matteo explains, offering David a hand. “ _ Emergencies only.” _

 

“This  _ is _ an emergency!” Jonas waves his arms. “Amira told me about what Mia and Hanna said and we wanted to cheer you up. But I think we were beaten to that…”

 

“He’s making bread,” David mentions from the floor before grabbing Matteo’s offered hand.

 

“He’s making bread?” Jonas and Amira share grin.

 

“You may as well sit down,” Matteo sighs. He sits back and tugs David from the floor to in between his legs.

 

“I’ll never trust any of these sofas again,” Jonas says, pulling a face.

 

Matteo groans. “I hate you.”

 

“You’re good,” David smirks. “For now, at least.”

 

“Don’t encourage him.” Matteo groans again.

 

“So,” Amira starts, gesturing to where they’re sat together. “When did this happen?”

 

“Uh.” David scratches his head. “Yesterday, technically.”

 

 “Technically?” Amira raises an eyebrow.

 

“Why did no one tell us we’ve been dating for months?” Matteo whines. 

 

Jonas and Amira both burst out laughing.

 

“Stop laughing,” Matteo whines again. “I could have been kissing David months ago if someone had just told me!”

 

Slowly they stop laughing, Jonas turning to smile fondly at them.

 

“You’re going to be that disgusting couple, aren’t you?” he asks. “The ones that make out everywhere and all the time.”

 

Matteo grins widely. “Yeah!”

 

“Really?” David asks, turning to face Matteo. This is news to him. 

 

Matteo’s face shutters. “I mean - if you don’t want to that’s totally fine.”

 

Before he can continue stammering through an apology, David kisses him.

 

“No, I just.” David shakes his head. “You didn’t kiss Justus in public, so I thought you just didn’t like PDA.”

 

“Justus didn’t kiss  _ me _ in public,” Matteo corrects. “Which is good, because he’s a bad kisser. I told you, I knew you were a better kisser even before you kissed me.”

 

David snickers. “Do I live up to your expectations, then?”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Matteo nods emphatically. “You use the perfect amount of saliva.”

 

Jonas mimes retching. “Filed under things I didn’t want to know.”

 

“What about the tongue thing?” David wiggles his eyebrows.

 

“Oh, yeah, totally better.”

 

“And the other thing?”

 

Matteo flushes and David knows he’s thinking back to earlier this afternoon and the bruises under his clothes.

 

“Anyway, because I don’t want to know that, let’s uh.” Jonas cringes. “Go back to making fun?”

 

“Hey, Jonas,” David starts, turning to face him.

 

He looks scared. “Yes?”

 

“Do you want another reason to hate Justus?”

 

Matteo groans. “David…”

 

“No, now I gotta know,” Jonas interrupts Matteo before he can stop David. “I’m always up for more reasons to hate that asshole.”

 

David leans into whisper much like Matteo had when he’d first mentioned it. “He doesn’t give head.”

 

“What?!” Jonas looks shocked and offended.

 

“Yeah,” David nods.

 

Jonas turns offended eyes to Matteo. “Matteo, bro, you deserve to get head every day.”

 

“Don’t worry, man, I got him.”

 

They bump knuckles.

 

Amira rolls her eyes. “Riveting conversation, as always, boys.”

 

“Okay, I’m going to go piss and check on the food.” Matteo shoves David off of him and gets up slowly, stretching. “You better be done talking about my dick when I get back.”

 

The smile Matteo gives David as he leaves lets him know he’s not really upset with him.

 

“All jokes aside, I’m glad you’re happy,” Jonas says with a small grin.

 

David returns his smile, staring down at his hands. “I really am. I was - stuck in a bubble of ‘he’s untouchable because he’s my best friend and newly single and could never love me back’ but. Yeah. It’s beautiful with him.”

 

“You make him really happy,” Amira notes.

 

“It’s strange.” He shrugs. “Like I said, nothing’s changed.”

 

“Sexier, though,” Jonas leers.

 

“I hate you.”

 

He lets out a wild laugh. “Bro, you didn’t even  _ try  _ and cover the massive hickey Matteo has on his neck. Are you a vampire?”

 

David blushes and thinks of the marks hidden under Matteo’s clothes.

 

“Are you done talking about my penis?” Matteo sighs, stopping in the doorway.

 

“Yeah, they’ve moved on to the huge hickey on your neck,” Amira says.

 

“Actually, I was telling your boyfriend I’m happy for you guys. The hickey was just something I mentioned.”

 

Matteo smiles at David. “I’m happy for us, too.”

 

There’s a pause, before Amira groans. “They’re already so disgusting.”

 

“It’s great!”

 

“Is dinner almost done?” David asks before Jonas can wax anymore poetry or call out anymore bruises. “Because I’m starving.”

 

Matteo rolls his eyes. “I just put the bread in the oven. It’ll be forty five minutes before both the bread and the soup are done, then I’ll feed you.”

 

“Thanks, Mama,” Jonas grins.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He pauses and swears lowly. “I forgot to check on the soup. Be right back. Again. Are you all gonna want some?” He turns to Amira. “It’s a recipe I got off your grandmother, so it’s halal. Don’t think I’ll do it justice, but I tried.”

 

David averts his gaze, the soft smile on Amira’s face for Matteo alone.

 

“Yeah, thanks.”

 

Matteo squeezes her shoulder on the way past. David notices her smile fades slightly when he leaves, falling into something more contemplating.

 

“He knows,” David says after a moment.

 

“Knows?”

 

“I asked him yesterday if he knew how much you care about him. He does.”

 

She sighs, shaking her head. “It’s just - it’s the little things.”

 

“We should make a Matteo Florenzi fan club,” Jonas proposes. 

 

David snorts. “Pretty sure that’s just all of our friends.”

 

“Good club,” Jonas nods. Matteo comes back in before they can make any grand plans for club meetings, throwing himself onto David’s lap.

 

“So…” Jonas starts, gesturing towards them. “How’d this happen?”

 

“Uh. Matteo came to pick me up from class, told me how handsome and intelligent I am and how much he loves me -”

 

“Excuse me,” Matteo interrupts. “You’re the one who said your favourite colour is the blue of my eyes. That’s pretty gay.”

 

“Oh, yes,” David nods. “Because you’re  _ such _ an outstanding heterosexual!”

 

Matteo sticks his tongue out. “Yeah, well. I’ve never said my boyfriend’s eyes are my favourite colour.”

 

“No,” Jonas interjects. “But you’ve definitely talked about how lovely his cheeks are when he blushes, how soft his lips are, how his hands fit perfectly in yours -”

 

“Okay, okay, we get it!” Matteo yells, covering his own blushing cheeks.

 

David knows the look he gives Matteo is disgustingly fond.

 

“I love you.”

 

The look he gets in response is equally disgustingly fond, though. “I love you, too.”


	7. Chapter 7

“So,” David starts, turning to face Matteo on the bed. 

 

“So.” Matteo’s eyes are closed, but he smiles. 

 

“We haven’t gone on a date yet,” David continues. At that, Matteo forces his eyes open. Even crusty with sleep, his eyes are still the most beautiful colour. Maybe one day David will discover a shade that can do it justice.

 

“We haven’t,” Matteo agrees sleepily.

 

“So…” David starts again.

 

“So?” 

 

“Date?” He knows his grin is wide, but his grin has been wide for five days. 

 

“I’ll have to check my schedule…” Matteo hums, pretending to think it over. His grin is just as wide as David’s, though, so it doesn’t have the same effect.

 

“Oh, shut up,” David says, hitting him. “I have your schedule memorized and you’re free Sunday afternoon.” 

 

“That’s a bit creepy, Schreibner,” Matteo snickers. He wipes his eyes, trying to wake himself up. “Having my schedule memorized. One might think you’re obsessed with me.”

 

“Like you don’t have mine memorized, Mr. Shows Up Outside My Classes With Coffee Every Day.” 

 

“How did you not realise I was in love with you?” Matteo rolls his eyes. 

 

David flails a bit, nearly hitting Matteo in the face. “I don’t know! I’ve never had a best friend before! That could be something you did for all of your friends!” 

 

“Fair enough,” Matteo tries to shrug; he’s still laying down so it’s difficult, but he manages. “Sad, but fair enough. Does this mean I’m your first?”

 

“You’re my first lot of things,” he says after a moment. “I’ve never been in love.”

 

“I’ll tell you a secret,” Matteo whispers. He rolls over to face him and traces a finger across David’s cheek. “I’ve never been in love, either.”

 

David reaches for the hand that isn’t on his face and kisses each knuckle softly. “Maybe,” he says, playing with Matteo’s fingers. “I’ll never have to fall in love again.”

 

“I like the sound of that,” Matteo says softly. David shuffles closer and rubs their noses together.

 

“I’ve been so far gone on you,” David groans as he pulls back. “For months. How did you not notice I was in love with you?”

 

He hums. “Well, as my therapist says...I have shit self esteem and didn’t think someone as attractive and interesting as you would love me back? I’m paraphrasing, but it was something like that.”

 

David presses a firm kiss to his lips. “Well, I do.”

 

“That’s good to know,” Matteo laughs. “Considering we’re dating and you’re in my bed.”

 

“What should we do, then? On our very first date?” David prompts after a moment.

 

“Uh.” Matteo scratches his head, squinting. “Anything that’s meant to be ‘date like’ we’ve already done.”

 

“Fuck,” David breathes, thinking back on their ‘friendship’. “You’re right.”

 

Matteo snorts. “How did we not know we were dating?”

 

“Coffee shop!” David exclaims after a moment of thinking. 

 

“Coffee shop?” Matteo looks confused, though if that’s due to exhaustion or actual confusion, David can’t tell.

 

“It’s a place where you can buy coffee,” David nods sagely. “Sometimes you can buy cakes as well.”

 

Matteo shoves at his shoulder, too sleepy to do anything else. “Shut up.”

 

“We never go to coffee shops because you work at one,” he continues. “Coffee shop date. Not at Blattgold, I don’t want Justus to be there on our first date.” 

 

“So a coffee shop date,” Matteo confirms.

 

David grins widely. “Yep!”

 

Matteo rolls his eyes with a sigh. “Fine, but you’re buying.”

 

“Of course.”

 

Matteo places a finger gently on David’s jaw. “Coffee shop sounds good to me.”

 

“Fuck, I’m gonna be late for class,” David says after a beat of just smiling at each other. “I’ll see you Sunday?”

 

Matteo uses the hand on David’s jaw to push his face away. “David, you fucking idiot. It’s only Wednesday, we’ll see each other before Sunday.” Matteo huffs. “See you Sunday, the man says.”

 

“I didn’t want to presume…” David starts.

 

“Babe,” Matteo interrupts. David tries not to flutter at being called ‘babe’, but his efforts are unsuccessful. “I went a week without seeing you and had a breakdown.”

 

“Oh,” David says, relieved. He’s not sure if he _should_ be relieved, but that doesn’t stop a knot from loosening in his chest. It’s strangely calming to know Matteo was feeling the same as he was. “Good.”

 

“Good?” Matteo laughs. “My emotional pain does it for you?”

 

“Because I did the same,” he explains. “When you came to pick me up from class on Friday I almost burst into tears.”

 

“Oh, that _is_ good then.”

 

David brings their foreheads together before burrowing his face in Matteo’s neck. His scent is comforting, has always been comforting. He can barely fathom that he gets this, that he gets to have this exactly the way he wants. That he gets to press a kiss against Matteo’s neck, trail kisses across his jaw.

 

He’s stopped from doing just that by the shrill ringing of his alarm.

  
“Fuck,” he groans, relunctantly getting up. “I really have to go.”

 

“Wait, I forgot.” Matteo drags him back down onto the bed. He doesn’t protest as much as he should. He’s about ten seconds away from saying ‘fuck it’ and ditching class completely, but he can’t afford that. “There’s a party here Friday for Abdi’s birthday.”

 

David raises his brows. “Last time we had a party here you got a fake boyfriend out of it.”

 

“Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get another one.” Matteo grins toothily. 

 

“Two fake boyfriends?” David hums. “Damn, you couldn’t even manage with one.”

 

“It’s a good thing I have a real boyfriend, then.”

 

“Very good.”

 

He leans in, ready to prove exactly how good it is to have a real boyfriend, but is pushed away. He whines slightly, Matteo smirking at the sound.

 

“Aren’t you going to be late for class?”

 

David throws himself off the bed, deciding against changing. Matteo’s clothes it is. He searches for his binder, before getting smacked in the face with it. 

 

“Thanks, love,” David smiles, even as he’s getting hit in the face. “Okay, now I really have to go.”

 

-

 

“Hello, _tesero_ ,” Matteo says softly, handing David his coffee with a kiss. 

 

“Hi, babe. How was class?”

 

Matteo groans and drops his head onto David’s shoulder.

 

“That bad?”

 

“We were learning about how women are diagnosed differently because of like. Misogyny and shit which is fucked up,” Matteo starts. “And there was some dickhead who thought he knew more about women’s mental health than the professor.” David can just about see him smile, but it’s hardly a nice smile. “The professor was pleased because he proved her point, at least.”

 

David groans. “I hate cishet white men.”

 

“Hey, don’t assign labels,” Matteo snickers, lifting his face from David’s shoulder.

 

“Was he a cishet white man?”

 

Matteo raises his eyebrows so far they disappear into his disheveled hair. “He was definitely a straight white man, at the very least. I couldn’t tell you if he’s cis.”

 

“He is,” David nods firmly.

 

“Oh, yeah.” He returns the nod. “Almost definitely.”

 

David motions for them to walk, grabbing Matteo’s gloved hand in his. They walk in silence, wandering without a real goal in mind. It’s crisp, but not too cold, and his coffee is just the right temperature to drink.

 

“I think we’re meeting everyone at the park.” Matteo checks his phone. “We have about half an hour.”

 

“Who’s everyone?”

 

Matteo shrugs. “Everyone, I’m assuming.”

 

David sends him a droll look. “Thanks, babe, that helped.”

 

“I don’t want to name all their names, there’s so many,” Matteo whines.

 

“Ah, so _everyone.”_ David nods.

 

“Everyone.”

 

They make it to the park a few minutes late, but they’re the first two there.

 

“Did we get the time wrong? Maybe the location?”

 

Matteo shows David the text he got from Jonas stating the time and location and then groans, leaning against the ping pong table. “How are all of them late? There’s like, ten of them.”

 

“You’ve met our friends. Why are you surprised they’re all late?”

 

“Not surprised,” Matteo sighs. “Just disappointed.”

 

“Well…we have a bit of time to waste.”

 

“What do you suggest?”

 

“How about -” He grabs Matteo around the waist and lifts until he’s sat on the table, leaning in close. “- this.”

 

Matteo gasps dramatically. “Mr. Schreibner, I must remind you that I am a chaste and virtuous gentleman.”

 

“Mr. Florenzi, I must remind you that I know most intimately that you lack both virtue and chastity.” He rubs their noses together. “Unless your definition of chaste and virtuous is very, very different to mine. Kiss me.”

 

“Well, if you insist,” Matteo smirks and winds his arms around David’s neck.

 

“I do,” he responds and leans in to kiss him. It’s more heated than it should be for a public park, but nothing explicit. 

 

“Bro,” Abdi groans. He’s arrived with a crowd of their friends, probably all coming from someone’s flat. “Is no place sacred?”

 

“Don’t be homophobic just because you can’t get laid,” Matteo says, pulling away but not taking his eyes off David.

 

“Go fuck yourself.”

 

“Pretty sure that’s David’s job, now,” Carlos snickers.

 

As Abdi and Carlos burst out laughing, Matteo becomes aware that his legs are still wrapped around David’s hips.

 

“If I wasn’t comfortable where I am, I’d be hitting you in the face.”

 

“We get it, embarrassed to stand up because you have a boner.”

 

Now Matteo does push David away, but it’s worth it when he hears Carlos cry out in pain, and David giggling.

 

-

 

“It’s nice seeing you so happy.”

 

David hums, clinking his bottle against Jonas’. “Thanks, man.”

 

“Because like -” Jonas pauses to think. “I knew how you both felt, but I’m glad you worked it out.”

 

David hums again, tilting his head slightly. “If you knew, why didn’t you try and set us up versus our friends trying to keep us apart?”

 

“Hey, now,” Jonas tuts. “It was just Hanna and Mia.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” David rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his beer. “Point still stands.”

 

They both take a moment to look at their friends, playing some drinking game that involved a ball and lots of movement. It seems that Abdi and Matteo are up against Carlos and Hanna, and Matteo looks about five seconds from giving up; he’s not one for physical activity, but it’s funny to watch him try. 

 

“I think…” Jonas starts, scratching the back of his head. “What you had was so natural. I didn’t feel like it’d be right to meddle with that. If you two got together, I thought it should be on your own terms.”

 

David pauses. “Thank you. For not trying to force anything on either of us.

 

“Of course.” He nudges David’s shoulder. “You’re my brother.”

 

“Jonas, come play with us!” Carlos yells.

 

“What, you don’t want David to come?” Jonas grins.

 

“No, because he’d win,” Abdi says like it’s obvious. “And that’s not fair.”

 

“Pretty transphobic of you to not let me play,” David laughs. 

 

Abdi, used to David by now, ignores him and turns to Matteo. “Matteo, go to your boyfriend. I want Jonas on my team because you’re useless.”

 

“Wow, hate crime,” Matteo says, raising his arms. “Not letting me _or_ my boyfriend play. I see how it is.”

 

David grins softly. He’s not sure he’ll ever get over the rush he feels when someone calls them ‘boyfriends’.

 

“What’s that grin for?” Matteo’s moved into the space Jonas was just taking up, and rubs his head against David’s arm like a cat.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Hm. Why do I think that’s a lie?”

 

“Just.” David shuffles so he can wrap an arm around his boyfriend’s waist. “I like being called your boyfriend.”

 

“Very convenient,” Matteo nods.

 

“How so?”

 

“Because I like being called _your_ boyfriend.”

 

“That _is_ convenient.”

 

-

 

“Is that my shirt?” David tilts his head. “I recognize that pattern.”

 

“I mean, probably. But we’ve kind of combined wardrobes. I’m pretty sure you’re wearing my shirt, so it’s fitting.”

 

“Double the patterned button ups,” he nods. “It looks good on you.”

 

“You think your clothes always look good on me,” Matteo grins. He drags David in by the hips, kissing the smirk off his face.

 

David smirks again when he pulls away. “Someone’s cocky.”

 

“Am I wrong though?” Matteo wiggles his eyebrows.

 

“No.” David rolls his eyes. “But fuck you.”

 

Matteo lifts his wrist and pretends to check his watch, something he very much doesn’t have, before sighing. “I don’t think we have the time.”

 

“Fiiiine,” David sighs in return. “But you in my shirt is definitely doing it for me.”

 

The kiss is soft, just simple affection. Even chaste pecks leave David breathless, though, so it doesn’t surprise him that it slowly becomes more heated. He’ll never get over kissing Matteo. He could kiss him for the rest of his life, and he’d never get over it. 

 

Matteo kisses like he loves; it’s all encompassing and the most beautiful thing David’s ever felt. It breaks his heart that someone could have this, could have Matteo, and treat him less than anything besides precious. 

 

“People are arriving, put your clothes on,” Hans yells from outside the door, startling them apart.

 

Matteo groans, pulling away. “Can’t we just stay here and makeout?”

 

“You’re the one who said we could have a party here,” David reminds him, adjusting both of their shirts.

 

“I know. It was stupid of me.”

 

They leave Matteo’s room to cheers from their friends; they have a beer thrust into their hands before they’ve even closed the door, and find a corner to stand in. 

 

Matteo takes a sip of his beer and makes an exaggerated face. “This beer tastes like fresh piss.”

 

David bats his eyelashes. “You know, sweetheart, you’re so charming sometimes.” 

 

“I try, babe,” Matteo leers. He jokingly licks his lips, and tries to wink; there’s nothing more endearing than Matteo not being able to wink.

 

David rolls his eyes and tries to hide that Matteo even jokingly licking his lips lit a fire in his stomach. “I’d definitely try a little harder.”

 

“Hey,” Matteo responds with a kiss on the cheek. “My charm worked on you.”

 

“Unfortunately, you’re right.”

 

“Don’t worry,” Matteo nods with another failed attempt at a wink. “Your charm worked on me, too.”

 

They stand there for a moment, just smiling. It’s pleasant, even with the loud music. Stood in a corner, sipping on shit beer, in their own little world. They don’t even speak, content to just lean against each other. That much doesn’t seem different at all. But the soft kisses are new, and David has never felt this glad to be at a party. Eventually Matteo finally gives up on his beer and has to go to the kitchen for a different drink.

 

“I’m going to go get something that doesn’t taste like piss in a bottle.”

 

“Get me a coke,” David calls to his back. He doesn’t acknowledge that he’s heard it, but David knows he’ll bring him back a glass of coke either way.

 

“David!”

 

“Hey, man, happy birthday.” David offers his knuckles to Abdi. He’s grinning widely and though there’s alcohol on his breath, he doesn’t seem like he’s too drunk. He’s not complimenting David or comparing Matteo to a plastic bag, so he’s only a drink or two in.

 

“Thanks, dude. It’s been a good one so far.” He bumps their knuckles together with another wide grin, which fades slowly after a moment. “Actually, uh, I came over because I just noticed a certain dickhead who just arrived, and I’m not drunk enough to kick him out.”

 

David doesn’t even ask who it is. Of course Justus would show up, right as David was having a good time. That’s his _brand;_ ruining good things. He groans but pushes himself off the wall. “He’s such an asshole. I’ll deal with it.”

 

“You’re a lifesaver, dude!” The grin is back on Abdi’s face, at least. He’s the birthday boy, he deserves to be happy.

 

He crosses the room, hoping there won’t be a confrontation and that it’d be a simple ‘leave, please’, but he isn’t betting on that. Justus loves to make a scene.

 

“Pretty sure you’ve been banned from this flat, Justus.”

 

He startles, not noticing David come up behind him. _Point Schreibner._ “Well, no one’s kicked me out.”

 

David raises an eyebrow. “This is me kicking you out.”

 

Justus scoffs, gesturing around them. “This isn’t your flat, even if you are screwing one of its occupants.”

 

“Hey, von Ehren,” Matteo pushes his way through the crowd. “Why are you here? I didn’t say you could be here.”

 

Justus plasters on a smirk, obviously checking Matteo out. “Aw, babe. You don’t want me to go, really.”

 

“Don’t tell me what I do and don’t want,” Matteo says through gritted teeth, reaching them. “And don’t call babe. Leave.”

 

“I remember you liked it when I told you what to do.”

 

David clenches his fists. He wants nothing more than to punch the smirk of Justus’ face; he’s still talking, but all David can hear is white noise. 

 

“Justus, I swear to god if you don’t leave this flat -” 

 

“What are you going to do about it, huh? Your _boyfriend_ isn’t going to protect you.”

 

_Smack._

 

David looks up, shocked. Justus is holding his face, and Matteo - beautiful, passive, soft Matteo - is standing in front of him, breathing heavily. He was clenching his fists, looking ready to strike Justus again.

 

He’d backhanded him so hard his glasses - his stupid designer glasses - landed in front of David. It’s almost an invitation, one he can hardly turn down. He does what he’s been wanting to do for almost a year.

 

The crunch of Justus’ glasses under his heel is one of the most satisfying sounds he’s ever heard.

 

“ _Vaffanculo!”_ David has never heard Matteo yell the way he is now, and tries not to find it attractive. “Leave my fucking flat and don’t even _think_ about coming back.”

 

Justus has no choice but to go, not even attempting to pick up his broken glasses. It was a quick exchange, barely lasting two minutes, but Matteo is staring at Justus’ glasses, wide eyed.

 

“Are you okay?” David asks after a beat. He watches Matteo relax his fists, exhaling loudly.

 

Matteo thinks for a moment, before nodding. “I’m fine.”

 

The party continues around them; there’d be more talk of it between their friends at some point - probably later tonight - but for now David drags Matteo over to a sofa and sits on his lap. “I’ve never seen you even _yell._ Where’d you learn to hit like that?”

 

Matteo presses one kiss to his ear and another to his mouth. “Hans taught me when I came out, ‘just in case’.”

 

David hums, returning the kiss. “Is it too soon to say that was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen?”

 

“Maybe a bit,” Matteo laughs, entangling their fingers. “But you breaking his glasses was one of the hottest things _I’ve_ ever seen, so I probably have no room to talk.”

 

David leans in, because at this point he has to. He kisses the taste of terrible beer out of his mouth, until all he can taste is Matteo. They kiss in the middle of a party, without a care of who sees. David knows seventeen year old Matteo would be shocked at how open they are; actually, seventeen year old David would feel the same. They’re so wrapped up in each other they don’t even notice when the music stops. It could have been minutes, hours, years. Time doesn’t seem to pass the same way when he’s kissing Matteo.

 

“Best birthday ever!” Abdi yells, pushing their faces apart.

 

“I’m glad you’ve had a good night,” David laughs, sharing a look with Matteo.

 

“Do you want to keep Justus’ glasses as a souvenir?” Amira grins, joining them. She’s holding the broken frames, presumably having cleaned up the shards from the lenses.

 

“I’m good,” Matteo chuckles. “You can keep them.”

 

“I’m going to,” she nods. “No one filmed it, but I have to remember this forever.”

 

“I think we’re headed to a club to finish the party,” Jonas adds. “You coming?”

 

Matteo meets David’s eyes. He tries to wiggle his eyebrows in a way that insinuates he wants to stay in, but he probably looks like he’s having a small stroke. He easily could have smirked and raised a brow, but he wants to make Matteo laugh; it works, and he seems to get it in the end at least. “Nah, I think we’ll stay in.”

 

“Use protection!” Hans yells from the doorway. “If you need condoms you can borrow one of mine.”

 

“Thanks, Hans,” Matteo says, reluctantly fond. “I really don’t like your use of the word ‘borrow’, though.”

 

Hans just shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re into.”

  
“Not that,” David laughs. And isn’t that a nice thought? They have all the time in the world to learn _what_ they’re into, what they don’t like. 

 

“But really,” Abdi reiterates. “Best party _ever.”_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over folks! Thank you to everyone who's read this! Keep an eye out, I definitely will be writing a "sequel" (this fic from Matteo's POV) if that's something that folks would be interested in.
> 
> Thank you all so much! xx

David gets to Blattgold just as it’s closing; he sends a quick text to Matteo to let him know he’s outside before finding a bench nearby. He tilts his head back, content to look at the stars while he’s waiting. It’s a clear night in Berlin, and even with the lights from the city he can still see more stars than usual.

 

“Don’t be scared.” David jumps at Matteo’s voice, standing quickly. He turns to see a grinning Matteo. He looks tired but happy, and it’s not a new thing, David’s picked him up from work on Saturday night almost every week for the last few months, but everything is different now. Every smile is different, yet exactly the same.

 

David flicks his nose for scaring him, but immediately presses a kiss to the same spot. Is there anything he loves more than the way Matteo’s nose crinkles each time he kisses it? If there’s anything more beautiful than his soft smile, his slight shock whenever David shows him gentle affection -

 

He isn’t a betting man, but if he was, he’d bet against it. It’s a fool’s bet; Matteo is more beautiful than the stars above them, and there can’t be anything more beautiful than him.

 

“Did I interrupt your star gazing, then?” 

 

“Who needs stars when I have you?” He says it with a laugh, making a joke of it, but it’s true. Here’s Matteo, tired smile brighter than any constellation. David is helpless but to orbit around him, and knows that’s not a new development.

 

The blush on Matteo’s face is worth the jump scare. “Okay, Romeo.”

 

“Can’t I sweet talk my sweetheart?”

 

Matteo rubs his arms as if to warm himself up. “Sure you can. Inside would be better, though. It’s freezing out here. Where are we headed?”

 

No, he wasn’t a betting man, but he’d bet for Matteo every damn time.

 

“Well, I have a feeling you haven’t eaten dinner yet, so we should probably get some food.” He pauses for Matteo’s sheepish shrug. “But I need to run home first, I forgot my wallet. Is that okay with you?”

 

Matteo nods and gestures ahead of them. David gives him one last kiss and reaches to interlace their fingers.

 

“How was work?”

 

“Justus was in,” Matteo snickers. “He has a nice bruise blooming on the side of his face. He wore contacts today, I wonder why.”

 

“Do I need to kick his ass again?” David smiles.

 

“Not yet,” Matteo laughs.  He begins to swing their arms slightly, a small skip in his step. “He’s worthless, anyway.”

 

“God, the most worthless,” David agrees. 

 

“Though if I remember correctly,  _ I  _ kicked his ass.”

 

“Yeah,” David exhales. “It was really hot.”

 

“You’re impossible. Absolutely impossible.”

 

“Well,” David says, dragging out the word. “I’ve heard you love me anyway.”

 

“God knows why.”

 

-

 

There’s noise coming from the kitchen, meaning Laura is home. 

 

David snickers to himself. “Hey, do you want to meet my sister?” 

 

“I’ve...met your sister, David.” Matteo draws his eyebrows together. “She’s dating my flatmate, and she’s the sister of my best friend. I see her all the time.”

 

“Yeah, but you haven’t met her as my  _ boyfriend _ ,” he replies.

 

Matteo rolls his eyes. “Oh, fuck you. But sure, whatever, go introduce me to your sister.”

 

“Laura!” he calls. “I’ve brought someone to meet you.”

 

Laura looks suspiciously over her shoulder, not seeing Matteo in the doorway.

 

David drags him into the kitchen. “This is Matteo -”

 

She interrupts him with a scoff. “I’ve met Matteo, asshole.”

 

“- my boyfriend.”

 

She pauses. “Boyfriend.”

 

“Boyfriend.”

 

“Like. For real boyfriend? Not just fake?”

 

“For real boyfriend.”

 

Laura will deny squeals of any sort, but she does grab both of them in a bone crushing hug. “I’m so happy for you two!” She pulls back and looks David directly in the eye. “David, if you break his heart I’m going to break your bones.”

 

David huffs. “Some kind of sister you are. I thought you were meant to protect  _ me  _ from  _ Matteo.” _

 

“No.”

 

Matteo’s grinning widely, a blush on his cheek. 

 

“God, disgusting,” David groans, poking Matteo’s cheek. “Look at his stupid face.”

 

“I’m serious. Don’t hurt him. Linn would have my head.”

 

“I don’t plan on it.”

 

She pulls David into another hug before they’re interrupted by the microwave.

 

“Are you going to want to eat? I’ll be honest, I’ve just made an instant meal and there’s nothing in the house.”

 

“No, it’s a flying visit,” Matteo explains. “David forgot his wallet, but I think we’re going out to eat.”

 

“Incredible. Get out of my kitchen."

 

“Whatever, we have places to be,” David says with a kiss to her cheek.

 

“Where?” Matteo asks.

 

“Not here.”

 

“It’s lovely to see you, Laura,” Matteo giggles, fighting against David shoving him towards the door.

 

“Text me when your honeymoon phase is over, we’ll go for lunch,” she calls after them.

 

“Since when do you hang out with my sister?” David says as he closes the front door behind them.

 

“Did you really not know we go for lunch sometimes?” Matteo asks.

 

“If she’s every mentioned it, I wouldn’t know,” David explains. “I don’t listen when she talks sometimes.”

 

“Ah, to have a sibling to ignore,” Matteo responds almost wistfully.

 

“You have Jonas and Amira,” David points out.

 

“Well, if I ignored Amira she’d probably kill me.”

 

“Jonas?”

 

“Nah, man.” Matteo shakes his head. “He has killer puppy dog eyes.”

 

David scoffs. “What, like you don’t?”

 

“His are worse.”

 

“I’ve seen his puppy dog eyes. Yours are much worse.” David leans in to kiss him. “But I’m biased.”

 

“You’ve always been biased.”

 

“That’s because I’ve always been in love with you.”

 

Matteo directs his grin to the sky but squeezes David’s hand.

 

-

 

David’s pretty sure he’ll never get tired of Matteo being the first thing he sees when he wakes in the morning. He checks the time, and is only a little disappointed at how late it is. Their day is halfway over, but they still have plenty of time.

 

“Matteo,” he whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to each of his eyelids. “Time to wake up.”

 

Matteo makes a noise that sounds  _ vaguely  _ human and tries to pull the covers up over his head. “Five more minutes.”

 

“No, it’s wake up time. We have a date today, and I refuse to miss it just because you want to sleep in.”

 

Matteo struggles to sit up. He has creases from his pillow on his cheek, and his hair is even more disheveled than usual. As always, David is struck by how beautiful he is. He tries to send a cheeky grin but it just ends up being soft with sleep. “We should definitely shower first.”

 

“Don’t give me any of that bullshit about showering together taking less time.”

 

“Communication and honesty is important in every relationship,” Matteo yawns. “I would never.”

 

“Past experience proves that to be incorrect.”

 

“Well, then I’ll be honest.” He drags himself into a standing position and tosses a smile over his shoulder. “Let’s go have shower sex.”

 

David rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Just try not to slip.”

 

Both of them manage to stay on their feet (with one close call), and it isn’t  _ too  _ long until they’re on their way to the coffee shop. 

 

It’s a short walk, made longer by the amount of time they spend slamming their shoulders into each other, trying to see who can stay on their feet the longest. David manages to knock Matteo into a hedge, and declares himself the winner.

 

“I love you,” David says, pulling him to his feet. He’s slightly out of breath as he plucks a leaf from Matteo’s hair.

 

“So you toss every boy you love into bushes?”

 

“Well, I’ve never loved a boy before, so I couldn’t tell you.”

 

Matteo grins back before pretending to think. “Are you sure you don’t want to have Justus at our first date?” 

 

“I hate you,” David groans.

 

“You just said you loved me, though,” Matteo points out.

 

“I still hate you.” 

 

“He’d make it so much more romantic, though!” 

 

“Why do I have a feeling he’s never made anything romantic in his life?” 

 

“Romance was never his forte,” Matteo agreed.

 

“What was?”

 

“Uh.” He pauses to think. “Money?”

  
“God, could you imagine having that much money but not using it to help people?”

 

“Guess we’ll just have to kill him,” Matteo shrugs.

 

“He could save lives,” David continues, ignoring Matteo. “Instead he wears designer glasses and drives a car that costs more than a three bedroom house.”

 

Matteo hums before nudging David with his shoulder. “What about you? When you have all that money, what’s your plan?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“When you’re a world famous director, getting paid millions to do something you’d do for free,” he responds like it’s obvious. David grins at the ground.

 

“Give it all away,” he shrugs. “I won’t need it.”

 

They’ve arrived at their destination, a small coffee shop on the outskirts of campus. It’s a Sunday afternoon so it’s not incredibly busy, and they manage to find a table tucked away in a corner.

 

“What are you feeling?”

 

“Hot chocolate, I think.”

 

“I’ll probably stick to tea.” David stands up. “White chocolate?”

 

“You know me so well.”

 

“Do you want a pastry?”

 

“You do spoil me, sweetheart.”

 

David rolls his eyes and heads to the counter. The line isn’t long, so he’s quick to return. With a small kiss on Matteo’s head he sets both the hot chocolate and pastry on the table.

 

“Thanks, babe.”

 

The ease with which ‘babe’ rolls off Matteo’s tongue knocks David breathless. This is real, he’s allowed this. It’s not a dream, it’s something he can have every day. Now to eternity.

 

The silence when he sits across from Matteo is awkward, which is a novelty for them.

 

“You okay?” David asks gently.

 

Matteo looks up from where he’s tracing patterns on the table top. “Is it weird that I’m nervous?” 

 

“Why are you nervous?” 

 

“This is our first date. I want it to go well.”

 

David fights the urge to coo. “That’s one of the cutest things you’ve ever said.” 

 

“Oh, fuck you.” Matteo rolls his eyes, blushing.

 

“Maybe later.”  

 

After that the tension is broken. They talk and banter like usual, but now David can hold Matteo’s hand and interrupt their bickering to remind Matteo how much he loves him.

 

“You have an eyelash, just there.” Matteo gestures vaguely at his face.

 

David swipes at his cheek a handful of times, unsuccessful.

 

“You’re going to poke your eye out,” Matteo laughs. He reaches across the table, batting at David’s hand. He swipes it away himself, presenting it to David like it’s a trophy. “There.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Are you going to make a wish?”

 

David raises an eyebrow. “What would I wish for?”

 

“That’s up to you,” Matteo shrugs. “If you tell me it won’t come true.”

 

David closes his eyes and pretends to think it over. He doesn’t need to think it over, he can admit that the only thing he’d ever wish for is sitting in front of him. That sitting at this table with Matteo is a culmination of every wish he’s ever made, whether on a star, birthday candles, an eyelash.  He opens his eyes and gently blows the eyelash from Matteo’s thumb. “Done.”

 

Matteo’s eyes feel heavy on him, and when he looks up he sees a flush on Matteo’s cheeks. “Done.”

 

“Are you blushing?” David laughs.

 

“No.” His blush deepens.

 

“What, did me blowing it do it for you?”

 

There’s a pause as David thinks over what he just said before dropping his head to the table with a groan. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

 

“I mean, you blowing  _ something _ definitely does it for me.”

 

“Oh?” David lifts his head to send him a look. “And what could that something  _ possibly  _ be?”

 

Matteo gasps dramatically, holding a hand to his heart. “We are in  _ public!” _

 

“Yeah, yeah.” David waves a hand dismissively. “Just eat your pastry.”

 

“How’s our first date treating you?”

 

David hooks one of his ankles around one of Matteo’s under the table. “I’m having a pretty good time. And you? Are you having a pretty good time?”

 

Matteo nods, blowing on his hot chocolate. He takes a small sip and David notices there’s a bit of whipped cream on his upper lip.

 

“It’s pretty okay.”

 

“Pretty okay?”

 

“It could be better,” Matteo sighs.

 

“Oh?” David leans back in his chair. “Tell me how it could be better?”

 

“You could kiss me. Kisses make everything better, did you know?”

 

“Do they now.”

 

Matteo nods sagely. “Totally. I’m a psychology major, I can tell you all about the psychological benefits of kissing.”

 

David grabs Matteo’s hand and presses a gentle kiss to each knuckle.

 

“Is that good enough?”

 

“It was nice. But studies show -”

 

David rolls his eyes but leans over the table to kiss his boyfriend ( _ boyfriend _ ) on the lips, efficiently shutting him up. He tastes like whipped cream and pastry, almost too sweet for David to bear. “Better?”

 

Matteo licks his lips as David pulls away, nodding. “Better. Obviously, I’ll need more data to compare it to, but it was better.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll get plenty of data out of me.”

 

“Your body is a study and I’m  _ very _ eager to collect data,” Matteo leers, wiggling his eyebrows.

 

“Will you make a spreadsheet about me?” David returns, grinning. This ridiculous, beautiful boy.

 

“For research purposes, of course.”

 

“Well,” David begins, pausing to take a sip of his tea. “You won’t find any past references.”

 

“We have time to create our own references. We have all the time in the world.” Matteo takes a sip, humming at the taste. “Oh ho ho. Are you blushing?”

 

David buries his head in his hands for a moment, trying to hide the blush that is indeed visible on his cheeks. “You blushed when I blew an eyelash off your thumb!”

 

Matteo just sticks out his tongue.

 

“But really - how did you manage to make an innuendo about collecting sex data romantic?”

 

Matteo tries - and fails - to wink. “I can make anything romantic.”

 

David hums. “Somehow I don’t believe that.”

 

Matteo just sticks his tongue out again.

 

David takes a deep breath and sets his mug down. “You asked me once if I believed in soulmates.” Matteo nods. “I said I didn’t like the idea of not having a choice. But - that wasn’t the whole truth.”

 

“And what is the whole truth?”

 

“The whole truth is...I don’t like the idea of soulmates because there was no way I’d ever love someone as much as I love you.”

 

For all that Matteo tries to close himself off from the world, he has a habit of staring at someone with such naked emotion on his face that it makes David physically ache. He can tell now that the look he’d always directed towards David - the look in his eyes right now - isn’t the same look he gives to Amira whenever she kisses his head, or to Jonas when he pulls him in for a hug.

 

David’s not really sure how he missed it. He can hardly fathom how he could misinterpret this stare as anything but romantic, as anything but all encompassing love. He really is a dumbass.

 

“I told you that I thought the soulmate bit comes after.” Matteo reaches to interlace their fingers. “I think this - this is after. You’re my after.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Because every fandom needs more fake boyfriend fics, correct? Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Quick opinion question: I have the first couple chapters of this fic but from Matteo’s POV; it’s obviously quite different. Would anyone be interested in reading it?


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